Dear Asians of the world. Pick an age, and look like it! Damnit!....
...... Okay. Here's what happened.
They went in through the garage. The kid says he leaves it open when he takes his bike out.
Now, they know the wife is the gate keeper. She knows the code.
The wife says she doesn't know what happened after she hit the code. She just remembers going down. But, judging by the burn mark on her back, I think what they did was use a stun gun on her...
That was pretty good. But how about this?
. . . you took the key to the weapons cupboard out of my pocket.
Then you suggested that we all split up.
You separated from Miss Scarlet, crossed the Hall,
opened the cupboard, took the wrench, ran to the conservatory,
entered the lounge through the secret passage,
killed the motorist with a blow on the head.
No, that's not right either....
Two days ago I sawr a rig than could haul that tanker. Ye' want te' git atta here. Talk ta' me....
Wait wait.... Got it... Really this time!
Saturday. Lets start with Saturday. Roomy is going out to her boyfriends. Her friend is staying with us for the month and really wanted to go out.
Her friend is a young metal head. She's really into it and she uses her looks to meet up with the bands.
She's met everybody. She's apparently even in Metal: A headbanger's Journey.
So she wants me to go with her.
We're looking on line trying to find any sort of metal bar. But it seems the Cobalt was all we had and now it's gone.
We almost went to a fetish club if not for the strict dress code.
I could have whipped up some sort of Mad Max survivalist gas mask get up. But we really didn't feel like putting in the effort.
Some of her friends suggested The Ivanhoe. So off we go.
This truly was a dive bar. This is where the tough ass natives and bikers hang out.
The band was playing rolling stones covers and some of their own stuff. Terribly unattractive people were dancing drunkenly. It was awesome and definitely bad ass. But not quite the flavor we were looking for.
I had texted elgrandragon to see if he wanted to hang out or if he knew of any metal scenes that night.
Some aging punks walked past the bar and flailed in front of the windows, mocking the country-esque styling of the bar.
As I'm looking at this I notice a man slink into the bar and check the cash slot of the ATM inside the door. He looks up with wide eyes. He's balled, slender and scronny, dark skinned, bushy eyebrows, large Roman nose. Thigh length leather jacket and jeans. He is actually slinking around. I turn to my companion "Check out Nosferatu over there."
He creeps over to one of the tables where the people dancing had been sitting and I swear he was pouring half finished beers he had collected into one mug.
This guy was seriously like Nosferatu after hitting rock bottom. He had the facial expression, the walk and the posture. Fiddly, claw-like hands and all.
Despite the vampire, the place was getting pretty dull. We finished our beer and decided we'd head up to the Brick Room.
As we're walking up, we see the aging punks from before. Misfits hats and motorhead shirts, classic biker jackets and tight jeans, my companion asks. "Do you guys know of any good metal or punk bars?"
They respond with "Well there was the cobalt, but it's gone. We're heading to a show at Pat's Pub if you want to join us."
So off we went with the aging punks. They were quite nice. The one of them was very rumbustious. Climbing various store gates on Hastings. Then there was 'Uncle Tom' I think his name was? Then the chick and her husband who was the cool quiet one with long hair.
On the way elgrandragon gets back to me and tells me of a party, but before I could get the address down my phone died.
We get to Pat's and I gotta say, I liked it. There was a punk band playing, cheap beer they make themselves and I got a compliment on my jacket in the line up to the bar.
The band was pretty hopping so I got up there infront of the stage for a bit. The second band kinda sucked, then the last band was a Ramones tribute band, but was much better than the Ramones. So I got up there and showed those scronny punks how to mosh.
Seriously, they'd bump into me and then I'd sweep three of them away into the crowd with one arm and keep headbanging.
I probably moshed harder than they deserved, but I was having fun. Plus my companion and I bonded a bit. We both seem to understand each other a bit better than we had before.
Sunday nothing happened, then I worked....
Work is fucked. Monday was intensely nuts. I caught three shoplifters before noon. One guy was a crack head whom I think I just deterred form stealing a toblerone bar, the next guy was some fat little fuck with greased back hair. Looked like he had been doing coke or something all night.
I heard him spraying himself with axe or something from the aisle over. I walk down there. He's got our store brand axe rip off. His eyes are closed and he continues to spray himself. I walk around and watch him. He opens his eyes, puts the can back on the shelf and I'm like "You're buying that now."
He's all "No. I'm not buying it, I won't shop here again." I block him off and I'm stalwart. He used half the can. He's like "Fine, call the cops." Fuck it. The cops wouldn't come for this and they wouldn't do anything even if they did. I tell him to get out.
I hate that so much. They count on the fact that we can't do anything about it and the worse thing we can do to punish them is ban them from the fucking drug store. Big fucking whoop.
I hope I see the fat bastard around at a pub. If I see him talking to a girl I can tell her how fucking cheap he is that he won't even pay for fucking store brand deodorant.
The other was this little Asian guy. Loaded his coat full of Sensodyne. He was very compliant when I caught him. I think he was used to getting caught. He took three tubes out of his jacket then stopped but I could see more and I told him that. He takes a few more out. I still see more. By this time I start frisking him then kick him out.
I was waiting for a belligerent one. By this time, I was so pissed off the adrenaline was so much that I wanted one of them to try something. I don't know if I can take a hit or not, but even if I went down after one punch, it would be worth it to have our big, ox-like, cash supervisor pummel the crap out of them. He has way more rage than me from working there as long as he has.
He almost got his chance. A little while before it's time for me to go, we're all in the back of the store putting away the stock that came in. I see this guy come in who had tried to pick a fight with the one merchandiser last week. I said to my buddy "Hey look, it's Tyler Durden."
Fucking two minutes later I hear one of the girls screaming at someone down an aisle. I go down there to see what's happening. She's yelling at him to get out.
She says he slapped her.
Me and the other merchandiser whom he was bugging last week converge and start charging down the aisle after him, he turns to go. Then our big ox shows up, pushes us aside and leads the fucker out.
The Manager told us we totally should have pounded him and we're waiting for another chance. I hope I run into him on the street because he's a fucking pussy coward with his crack cap and big frigging Lady Gaga sunglasses, I just want to break them off his face with my forehead. He'll need bigger ones to cover up the damage I'll do to him.
I got home at like 2:45pm and I'm right into the beer. Luckily Metal friend has some of her friends over from Kelowna for the Amon Amarth show that night and they've almost polished off a big bottle of Royal Reserve.
We chill for a while, then they convince me to go to the show with them. The one staying with us says she'll cover my ticket and I can pay her back.
So I'm in. Down a few more beers and we head out.
The show was sold out when we got there and we needed two tickets. Thank Odin there was a scalper selling the tickets for less than they would have cost for us to buy them from the venue.
We're in.
Holy Grail is playing, the energy was good. I was sore from the other night, but I got in the pit. Once the finished up I got some water then came back in and there she is.
Short haired, little, Asian tomboy. I stand close to her and as Eluveitie comes on, I headbang and stay at the edge of the pit, throwing people back into it, helping them up. This goes on for a while and she's still right there. We exchange a few smiles and hollered a short conversation. Then they strike the stage for Amon Amarth. I decide I'm going to help this tiny little thing get to the rails. We weasel our way through the crowd, second 'row' from the front. I'm groping through for the railing so I can pull us up once they start.
But man, once it started, it was insane. I formed a barrier as best I could around her to keep her form getting trampled, had her on my back for a bit, then eventually we were ripped apart.
By this time I'm roasting. I went out and sat on a bench for some air.
The band played on. People were staggering out left and right with their shirts off, gasping for air. This band was seriously kicking their asses. I thought they were going to be done by the time I went back in. But every time it looked like they were leaving the stage, the crowd would cheer and they burst back out through the smoke.
As I sat outside, it dawned on me... This is an all ages show isn't it?... Shit, was she wearing a wrist band(For buying liquor)? I don't think so... Crap, don't panic. she could just be 18. Your room mate is 18 and she's dating a buy older than me. It could work!... My heart sank.
By the time the band finished and I found her again, I think I had done my best to prepare myself for the worst. The lights come on, the crowd disperses. I take a good look at her in the light, lean down... "You're like, 17 aren't you?" She smiles "Yeah... Well, almost."
Fuck.....
Seriously, there's a girl at work who looks her age, if not younger and she's 25.
Well, I'm crushed, but I figure I'll give this kid the best thrill I can.
I tell her the girl I came with has a knack for getting in to see the bands after shows. She also knows two of the venue staff who are in 3 inches of blood. We were going to try to meet the bands out back then head to the after party after. I wasn't going to go to the party, I was tired and worked the next day. And my new lil fren' obviously wasn't but we all waited out back. Eventually the singer from Eluveitie came out and hung with us. We were all discussing history and culture.
After a while he left, and it wasn't looking like Amon Amarrth was coming back out of the bus, so I walked the kid home. We actually had quite a bit to talk about, both being homeschooled, artsy types, which breaks my heart even more.
My friends ended up going to the after party, but there wasn't much chance to meet anyone cool.
I don't think I'm a creeper. I mean I've gone after girls who I knew were 10 years older than me. I don't think I'm attracted exclusively to unreasonably younger looking people... But why did THIS one have to be so much younger!?
I'm a quite heartbroken. In that short time I really began to crush on this girl. And not just because I was being crushed against her by a crowd of wannabe vikings.
I don't want to go to any all ages shows again. I don't want to have to worry about it. I need to get out first chance I can get and meet someone who can take my mind off this.
That's about all that's happening at the moment.
Wheeled a BBQ home today. Someone had it out front with a free sign on it. I had to push it like 6 blocks. I'm going to gut it an turn it into a coal BBQ.
Bought some more reduced Easter candy which I'm going to go comfort myself with in a moment.
Night, all... Hrrmph.
...... Okay. Here's what happened.
They went in through the garage. The kid says he leaves it open when he takes his bike out.
Now, they know the wife is the gate keeper. She knows the code.
The wife says she doesn't know what happened after she hit the code. She just remembers going down. But, judging by the burn mark on her back, I think what they did was use a stun gun on her...
That was pretty good. But how about this?
. . . you took the key to the weapons cupboard out of my pocket.
Then you suggested that we all split up.
You separated from Miss Scarlet, crossed the Hall,
opened the cupboard, took the wrench, ran to the conservatory,
entered the lounge through the secret passage,
killed the motorist with a blow on the head.
No, that's not right either....
Two days ago I sawr a rig than could haul that tanker. Ye' want te' git atta here. Talk ta' me....
Wait wait.... Got it... Really this time!
Saturday. Lets start with Saturday. Roomy is going out to her boyfriends. Her friend is staying with us for the month and really wanted to go out.
Her friend is a young metal head. She's really into it and she uses her looks to meet up with the bands.
She's met everybody. She's apparently even in Metal: A headbanger's Journey.
So she wants me to go with her.
We're looking on line trying to find any sort of metal bar. But it seems the Cobalt was all we had and now it's gone.
We almost went to a fetish club if not for the strict dress code.
I could have whipped up some sort of Mad Max survivalist gas mask get up. But we really didn't feel like putting in the effort.
Some of her friends suggested The Ivanhoe. So off we go.
This truly was a dive bar. This is where the tough ass natives and bikers hang out.
The band was playing rolling stones covers and some of their own stuff. Terribly unattractive people were dancing drunkenly. It was awesome and definitely bad ass. But not quite the flavor we were looking for.
I had texted elgrandragon to see if he wanted to hang out or if he knew of any metal scenes that night.
Some aging punks walked past the bar and flailed in front of the windows, mocking the country-esque styling of the bar.
As I'm looking at this I notice a man slink into the bar and check the cash slot of the ATM inside the door. He looks up with wide eyes. He's balled, slender and scronny, dark skinned, bushy eyebrows, large Roman nose. Thigh length leather jacket and jeans. He is actually slinking around. I turn to my companion "Check out Nosferatu over there."
He creeps over to one of the tables where the people dancing had been sitting and I swear he was pouring half finished beers he had collected into one mug.
This guy was seriously like Nosferatu after hitting rock bottom. He had the facial expression, the walk and the posture. Fiddly, claw-like hands and all.
Despite the vampire, the place was getting pretty dull. We finished our beer and decided we'd head up to the Brick Room.
As we're walking up, we see the aging punks from before. Misfits hats and motorhead shirts, classic biker jackets and tight jeans, my companion asks. "Do you guys know of any good metal or punk bars?"
They respond with "Well there was the cobalt, but it's gone. We're heading to a show at Pat's Pub if you want to join us."
So off we went with the aging punks. They were quite nice. The one of them was very rumbustious. Climbing various store gates on Hastings. Then there was 'Uncle Tom' I think his name was? Then the chick and her husband who was the cool quiet one with long hair.
On the way elgrandragon gets back to me and tells me of a party, but before I could get the address down my phone died.
We get to Pat's and I gotta say, I liked it. There was a punk band playing, cheap beer they make themselves and I got a compliment on my jacket in the line up to the bar.
The band was pretty hopping so I got up there infront of the stage for a bit. The second band kinda sucked, then the last band was a Ramones tribute band, but was much better than the Ramones. So I got up there and showed those scronny punks how to mosh.
Seriously, they'd bump into me and then I'd sweep three of them away into the crowd with one arm and keep headbanging.
I probably moshed harder than they deserved, but I was having fun. Plus my companion and I bonded a bit. We both seem to understand each other a bit better than we had before.
Sunday nothing happened, then I worked....
Work is fucked. Monday was intensely nuts. I caught three shoplifters before noon. One guy was a crack head whom I think I just deterred form stealing a toblerone bar, the next guy was some fat little fuck with greased back hair. Looked like he had been doing coke or something all night.
I heard him spraying himself with axe or something from the aisle over. I walk down there. He's got our store brand axe rip off. His eyes are closed and he continues to spray himself. I walk around and watch him. He opens his eyes, puts the can back on the shelf and I'm like "You're buying that now."
He's all "No. I'm not buying it, I won't shop here again." I block him off and I'm stalwart. He used half the can. He's like "Fine, call the cops." Fuck it. The cops wouldn't come for this and they wouldn't do anything even if they did. I tell him to get out.
I hate that so much. They count on the fact that we can't do anything about it and the worse thing we can do to punish them is ban them from the fucking drug store. Big fucking whoop.
I hope I see the fat bastard around at a pub. If I see him talking to a girl I can tell her how fucking cheap he is that he won't even pay for fucking store brand deodorant.
The other was this little Asian guy. Loaded his coat full of Sensodyne. He was very compliant when I caught him. I think he was used to getting caught. He took three tubes out of his jacket then stopped but I could see more and I told him that. He takes a few more out. I still see more. By this time I start frisking him then kick him out.
I was waiting for a belligerent one. By this time, I was so pissed off the adrenaline was so much that I wanted one of them to try something. I don't know if I can take a hit or not, but even if I went down after one punch, it would be worth it to have our big, ox-like, cash supervisor pummel the crap out of them. He has way more rage than me from working there as long as he has.
He almost got his chance. A little while before it's time for me to go, we're all in the back of the store putting away the stock that came in. I see this guy come in who had tried to pick a fight with the one merchandiser last week. I said to my buddy "Hey look, it's Tyler Durden."
Fucking two minutes later I hear one of the girls screaming at someone down an aisle. I go down there to see what's happening. She's yelling at him to get out.
She says he slapped her.
Me and the other merchandiser whom he was bugging last week converge and start charging down the aisle after him, he turns to go. Then our big ox shows up, pushes us aside and leads the fucker out.
The Manager told us we totally should have pounded him and we're waiting for another chance. I hope I run into him on the street because he's a fucking pussy coward with his crack cap and big frigging Lady Gaga sunglasses, I just want to break them off his face with my forehead. He'll need bigger ones to cover up the damage I'll do to him.
I got home at like 2:45pm and I'm right into the beer. Luckily Metal friend has some of her friends over from Kelowna for the Amon Amarth show that night and they've almost polished off a big bottle of Royal Reserve.
We chill for a while, then they convince me to go to the show with them. The one staying with us says she'll cover my ticket and I can pay her back.
So I'm in. Down a few more beers and we head out.
The show was sold out when we got there and we needed two tickets. Thank Odin there was a scalper selling the tickets for less than they would have cost for us to buy them from the venue.
We're in.
Holy Grail is playing, the energy was good. I was sore from the other night, but I got in the pit. Once the finished up I got some water then came back in and there she is.
Short haired, little, Asian tomboy. I stand close to her and as Eluveitie comes on, I headbang and stay at the edge of the pit, throwing people back into it, helping them up. This goes on for a while and she's still right there. We exchange a few smiles and hollered a short conversation. Then they strike the stage for Amon Amarth. I decide I'm going to help this tiny little thing get to the rails. We weasel our way through the crowd, second 'row' from the front. I'm groping through for the railing so I can pull us up once they start.
But man, once it started, it was insane. I formed a barrier as best I could around her to keep her form getting trampled, had her on my back for a bit, then eventually we were ripped apart.
By this time I'm roasting. I went out and sat on a bench for some air.
The band played on. People were staggering out left and right with their shirts off, gasping for air. This band was seriously kicking their asses. I thought they were going to be done by the time I went back in. But every time it looked like they were leaving the stage, the crowd would cheer and they burst back out through the smoke.
As I sat outside, it dawned on me... This is an all ages show isn't it?... Shit, was she wearing a wrist band(For buying liquor)? I don't think so... Crap, don't panic. she could just be 18. Your room mate is 18 and she's dating a buy older than me. It could work!... My heart sank.
By the time the band finished and I found her again, I think I had done my best to prepare myself for the worst. The lights come on, the crowd disperses. I take a good look at her in the light, lean down... "You're like, 17 aren't you?" She smiles "Yeah... Well, almost."
Fuck.....
Seriously, there's a girl at work who looks her age, if not younger and she's 25.
Well, I'm crushed, but I figure I'll give this kid the best thrill I can.
I tell her the girl I came with has a knack for getting in to see the bands after shows. She also knows two of the venue staff who are in 3 inches of blood. We were going to try to meet the bands out back then head to the after party after. I wasn't going to go to the party, I was tired and worked the next day. And my new lil fren' obviously wasn't but we all waited out back. Eventually the singer from Eluveitie came out and hung with us. We were all discussing history and culture.
After a while he left, and it wasn't looking like Amon Amarrth was coming back out of the bus, so I walked the kid home. We actually had quite a bit to talk about, both being homeschooled, artsy types, which breaks my heart even more.
My friends ended up going to the after party, but there wasn't much chance to meet anyone cool.
I don't think I'm a creeper. I mean I've gone after girls who I knew were 10 years older than me. I don't think I'm attracted exclusively to unreasonably younger looking people... But why did THIS one have to be so much younger!?
I'm a quite heartbroken. In that short time I really began to crush on this girl. And not just because I was being crushed against her by a crowd of wannabe vikings.
I don't want to go to any all ages shows again. I don't want to have to worry about it. I need to get out first chance I can get and meet someone who can take my mind off this.
That's about all that's happening at the moment.
Wheeled a BBQ home today. Someone had it out front with a free sign on it. I had to push it like 6 blocks. I'm going to gut it an turn it into a coal BBQ.
Bought some more reduced Easter candy which I'm going to go comfort myself with in a moment.
Night, all... Hrrmph.
Your little story reminded me of this, soon to be a major motion picture, graphic novel set in Toronto
Hahaha! Ah... and now I'm reminded of this really great little record