Thursday Aug 03, 2006

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I have never in my life been this not okay.

It's over now. Officially. Forever.

It seriously feels like my entire life has just caved in on me.

My life doesn't make sense without him.

Everyone says "Oh it hurts but you'll find someone new." I don't want to.

I know I CAN have a life without him. Guess what. I don't want to.

I can't just be his fucking friend. Because everytime I see him I will want to kiss him. I will think about how we were supposed to get an English bulldog and name him Baxter. How he told me I made him actually want to have kids. How the first time he cried since he was a little boy was when he left me at the airport in London. How we'd get sloppy drunk and watch Comedy Central all night and be totally fucking ridiculous. That wide eyed, sleepy look he'd give me in the morning when he first woke up. How he used to make me breakfast in bed.

I want to make it better but he won't let me.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
undershaker:
At this time, I should think to be snarky and quote Belushi's dramatic monologue of resistance (from Animal House), but I won't. That's way outside the point. Really, you have to let your hurt be singular, though not to the point of tearing up your viscerae, then dispatch with it. On your time, as it's your ache. And, really, anyway, whatever additional splints I or another third party could offer, they won't fit. They wouldn't be congruent, I mean... But, yes, everybody's gone thru these moments. This will pass.

Selah.

Anyway, I don't own but Punk in Drublic from NOFX. Good disc, but not so much as to inspire me to buy another. I just hope "Liza & Louise" isn't on it, so I won't look stupid implying that I wouldn't have ever been able to hear the song. It's prolly on Heavy Petting Zoo or Ribbed, though, huh?

Also: Warhol was from Pittsburgh? I'm not really a fan of his, but his provenance from PGH would up the weirdness quotient in your fair burg, if true. Baltimore and her native son, John Waters, will always take the weirdness cake, though.

Last: if I had an English Bulldog, I'd prolly name him Eddie Izzard. Prolly goes along with me liking (the idea, at least) of John Waters and his oeuvre.
el_scootro:
before you know it youll start thinking little blonde girls with nice butts are attractive.... whatever

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