Oh Jesus fucking Christ.
Sorry to those who saw this pre-edit. My life has taken a seriously complicated and confusing turn. I'm terrified. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it definitely wasn't good either. Let's just leave it at that for now.
Nobody likes shitty entries so instead I will tell you funny stories of my trip to Sandcastle, a local waterpark.
What I Learned at Sandcastle:
The wavepool was super packed, and these bratty little kids kept swimming around me, and kicking me, and not even saying sorry. So I turned around and yelled "I AM GONNA KICK YOU!!!!!" at them. They of course paid me no mind, but my mom was laughing so hard she almost drowned. Then, these other little kids at first for real thought I was Ashlee Simpson. They tried to talk to me and I just swam away muttering under my breath "Didn't your mom ever tell you not to talk to strangers?". I also observed some super sweet tattoos such as a potrait of a pitbull on some girl's bicep, the ICP logo on some dude's bicep, a sunburst around some dude's nipple. Among many others. I saw fat little boys with tits WAY bigger than mine. Mmmm childhood obesity. So what did I learn at Sandcastle? I hate children and yinzers have some realllllly delightul tattoos.
At 80s I learned that I'm capable of going out and having fun without getting obscenely wasted. A little buzz can go a long way sometimes.
PS. Sorry I haven't been the best at replying to comments lately. I'm getting there...slowly!
Sorry to those who saw this pre-edit. My life has taken a seriously complicated and confusing turn. I'm terrified. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it definitely wasn't good either. Let's just leave it at that for now.
Nobody likes shitty entries so instead I will tell you funny stories of my trip to Sandcastle, a local waterpark.
What I Learned at Sandcastle:
The wavepool was super packed, and these bratty little kids kept swimming around me, and kicking me, and not even saying sorry. So I turned around and yelled "I AM GONNA KICK YOU!!!!!" at them. They of course paid me no mind, but my mom was laughing so hard she almost drowned. Then, these other little kids at first for real thought I was Ashlee Simpson. They tried to talk to me and I just swam away muttering under my breath "Didn't your mom ever tell you not to talk to strangers?". I also observed some super sweet tattoos such as a potrait of a pitbull on some girl's bicep, the ICP logo on some dude's bicep, a sunburst around some dude's nipple. Among many others. I saw fat little boys with tits WAY bigger than mine. Mmmm childhood obesity. So what did I learn at Sandcastle? I hate children and yinzers have some realllllly delightul tattoos.
At 80s I learned that I'm capable of going out and having fun without getting obscenely wasted. A little buzz can go a long way sometimes.
PS. Sorry I haven't been the best at replying to comments lately. I'm getting there...slowly!
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
Your update made me laugh
Know all about kids with C cup haha my flatmate has some crazy theory it's chicken hormones?!
Something about genetics meh feeding chickens all kinda shit make then grow KFC people eat KFC therefore eat the grow hormoes= bigger boobies. WTF
s m i l e
X
Bully to peeing in pools in Toledo, then.
But, yeah... Tell it to (my) blog. By the way, if you don't mind changing up your biting retorts, and occasionally using this -- "tell it to your blog" -- instead of "you're gay", I would appreciate it. I want TITYB to become the next big hip(ster) catchphrase. (I cannot take credit for it, though, as a Philadelphian on a board I frequent created the expression.)