monovox

I think that I might be burning out.

I have been working so hard for so long. Sometimes it is hard to get that foot to go in front of the other. I don't want to be burnt out, but does sheer will have anything to do with it. I have become so leveraged in self-imposed responsibility that it's hard to see though the murk to get perspective anymore. My sheer force of internal will, has become a whisper.

It could be just year-end stuff too. A year filled with angst, horrible employees, my divorce, antidepressants, my creativity slipping through my fingers, problems with my biz partner, feeling lost, loosing touch with my core... All coalescing into a point. Now.

I need to be bathed of the year. I need to be cleansed and reborn. To die and wake up on the other side in the imaginary line that is the passing into the New Year. A symbolic baptism. I know that the answer is inside; I am just not sure how to reach it. I need to break through the haze that has covered my lenses to find that old strength. That ability to see.