monkeypox

i was at work today and my new general manager, whom ive know for a bout a bizillion years, walks in and asks me if i do drugs.

instantly i become defensive, as the room is full of upper-management and owners.

uhh, no, i sheepishly reply. and i scramble it figure out what i must have done wrong to warrant such questioning.

have you been clean for a while, she rewords her question.

yea, i think so, i reply.

good, she says, will you pee in a cup for me, well its not really for me, my husband has to pass a test, and (insert name of straight edge coworker) is out of town.

relieved i say, ok, but when the results come back, let me know if im pregnant