moniker42

My grandfather cut off his fingers a few days ago, 2 and a half fingers, on a table saw. He's been a carpenter for 50 years.

He's just a jovial old spirit, charming but for the racism. Hates spics, niggers, kykes.

"The problem in this country" he has stated very clearly to me "is the mexicans. Now I don't blame the niggers, they were brought here, but the spics should know better, this is our place, and we earned it"

Grandpa makes me want to move to Canada.

On the way home from work we hit a pheasent, big ol' thing.

I said very specifically 'wow, what a huge pheasent' and as if I called it to me, it flew up and hit the passenger side window. Took the side mirror clean off, huge bird, looked beautiful just lying there after we stopped.

I havn't worked today, instead, I jerked off on my webcam so this chick I know in PA could watch.

Shrug.

She told me too, I've seen naked pictures of her, what was I supposed to do?

Don't look at me like that.

She said nice things about me too, nice girl, vegan.

Like I said, I didn't work today, which sucks. It's just too cold to work around here lately, the air compressors freeze up, nails won't shoot out of the guns.

Plus your fingers freeze.

So no work tomarrow either, i'll be here all day, if anyone cares to contact me somehow.

This girl was supposed to come over for lunch, but we always stand each other up, that's the nature of our relationship.

I stand her up, I call her, we talk, I apologize, we make plans, she stands me up.

And the cycle repeats itself.

It's not so bad, it's kind of funny at this point.

I don't know what to do with myself with this cold, I get stir crazy.

I've cleaned the whole house.

I read some, but without building to calm me down, reading is more difficult.

I stay in my bathrobe all day and do yoga, drink great percolators full of green tea, the leaves swirling out of the strainer.

But I've gotten a lot better at juggling.

I havn't worked more than a day this week, I'm going to collect unemployment.

I've never done this before, and I feel terrible about it.

FUCK!

I need the money, it's all going into savings, gotta go to thailand, gotta drink sake on the beach.

Can't stop me now.

I need some kind of companion. My dog just sleeps all day.

Was it the cold i let in, when I let the dog out, that has reduced this world of abstraction?


:Edited it say - Fuck you all, I'm going to play drunk trumpet alone and by myself:

Oh, and shit, now that I think about it, more news, fucking...

Fucking HOMELESS JIM, who is practically my mentor if you can believe it, and the reason I'm so fucked up in the head for another.

The last time I saw him he convinced me it would be a pretty good idea to huff a bunch of ether, then, drink some in a shot of rye whiskey.

That's a different story.

Anyway, fucking HOMELESS FUCKING JIM STOLE ALL OF SHBOB (Sexual Harrasment Bob)'s rent money while he was in europe and flew to fucking holland!

Now, I wouldn't beleive this, first of all, I'm saying it, second of all JIM is saying it, and the man lies more than I do, and third of all, he told me he was going to Montreal.

But for the fact that Adam, sweet innocent muppet Adam, who really could never lie about anything

BAILED HIM OUT and bought a plane ticket back here to the states after all Jim's money 'Got stolen while he was sleeping in a hostel'.

I just couldn't make this shit up.

Okay, well, I could, but I swear, to my knowledge, this is what happened.

Shbob is a little upset.