moldspawn

I am coming to the conclusion that most women tend to be controlling, insecure, neurotic, control freaks who consistently make a habit of invalidating what another person feels or thinks. Which makes it hard to find someone "cool." By cool, I mean someone who doesn't assume/think they know what you're thinking or what you're feeling. And then based on what they're assuming (which is often wayyyy off base), proceed to be neurotic passive aggressive cunts. This also includes the whole concept of telling people what to do. Apparently most women I know have this problem. There's a better way to word things than to spit out the much dreaded (in my world) "You should do......" How about, recommend? Or, I suggest? Or some other more TACTFUL variation than the "You should" thing. Because you know what, then you should shut the fuck up. I mean, seriously. Add to that the fact that most women I know or have dated tend to like negating the validity of what the other person feels or thinks, or what their perspectives are on life, or even what their preferences are. Case in point was re: a comment I made about how an LBTQ panel discussion had slim pickings due to people being either too old or too young (24-25 and over 40 for me). Those are PREFERENCES. To be called an ageist completely offends me and partnered with the, ageism isn't cool comment just pissed me off. Who are you to judge me when you barely even know me. It's a perfect example of how certain age groups lack the life experience to pick up on subtleties in life - not everything is black or white. There are many shades of gray and I am not fixed in stone. I constantly assess and reassess myself and where I am in life.

If I were to bring that utter CRAP into, let's say, Muay Thai class with a newbie, this would translate into me a) Not validating their feelings. Being new is hard and it's frustrating and people are rude or inpatient with many newbies. Not cool because we all start from nothing and have to build up to a certain skill level. It makes me happy when someone tells me they want to be as good as me one day and thank me for being patient with them. I don't just say, oh well, whatever, you don't know anything and blow them off. If they say they're frustrated, I tell them it takes some time and I try to give them basic pointers to help their form.
b) I could also go in there and just beat the shit out of them because they're easy pickings but I know from experience that it's a huge turnoff and it's frustrating. Don't do that kind of shit.
c) Not everyone goes to Muay Thai class to compete. I don't plan on fighting at the pro level, but I do fight. But I also recognize that many women don't want to fight. They are doing it for the fun and for the workout. And kudos to them. That's they're PREFERENCE and I don't jump down their throat and automatically assume I'm beter than them or COOLER than them because they don't want to fight. It's what they want and that's valid and fine by me.
d) As for the "you' should" shit - I try to avoid it knowing how much I hate the phrase myself. If I am trying to correct someone's form, I try to break it down for them. If they need to rest, I don't tell them "you should" NOT rest. Not everyone is in the same shape. If their kick isn't quite right, I don't tell them "You should" make your kicks better. I'll encourage more rotation on the ball of the foot, getting up on the ball of the foot more, and turning the hip over more.

There's a ton more that I could bitch about. So yeah - cool girls? Where the fuck are you? I doubt these ladies exist. The only cool ones I know are taken. But they're my role models for being supportive and helpful people.