( Written for @pipercadence )
Walk through the red, cracked landscape of Australia and you will soon have it. As the heat sears your brain into crispy good bacon bits and thirst takes over, you feel it settle on you like a blanket.
It starts with a sudden, shocking desire to eat Vegemite. Once hated by your tastebuds, you will start scraping our national yeast extract over your toast. You will admire Vegemite's similarity to axle grease and consider the smell of it enchanting.
"This really isn't so bad," you will say out loud and before you know it you have progressed to slathering it on white bread. Then you will go looking for recipes that have Vegemite in them.
You may progress to casual racism...and you will know when you start your sentences with "I'm not a racist but....". You will think that Australia's Sarah Palin, Pauline Hanson, made some good points about Islam.
You will have a sudden urge to shout at anyone with even a slight tan that they "should go back to where they came from." You might catch yourself watching Gogglebox on a Thursday night or listening to 2GB radio.
One day you will walk out the door and go get a Southern Cross tattoo on your ass. You are now fast in the grip of Spider Madness...and you are beyond hope.
