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mojo7673

Mid World

Member Since 2014

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Welcome to Australia 2035.

Sep 29, 2015
1
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In the world I see, our once wealthy nations are reduced to grinding poverty as the system collapses from the top down. Buckling under corruption and incompetence, governments cede all responsibility for basic services to corporations who in turn begin hoarding commodities accessible only to a top 1%.

Water becomes a privilege rather than a right. Petrol is a thing of the past.

Here in Australia, the rise of the red neck will be complete. PM Turnbull will be long ousted, and Emperor for Life Tony Abbott is unquestioned ruler of all he sees. With a chest adorned with a thousand gleaming medals, he announces to the wreckage of the nation that he is giving himself the new title of Ruler of the Birds of the Sky, Beasts of the the Field and Those Things In the Ocean.

Squads of jowly, sweaty, beer gutted men known as the Onion Guard prowl the streets. When you pass a poster of Emperor Tony, they will jab you with pointy sticks and demand you bow down to your Emperor. Tony smiles down beatifically from his poster, with a half chewed red onion in one hand and a bullwhip in the other.

The poster says "ONLY TONY KNOWS WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU."

The Onion Guards will thrust hands down your pants to check if you are wearing your government issue Speedos.

A typical run in with the Onion Guard will go something like this.

"Oi. You got ya papers?"

"I don't need them and you can't ask for them. I'm a citizen."

"Fucking greenie. Get him!"

You will then be frog marched to a special facility, interrogated, stripped naked, blasted with a hose and tattooed from head to foot in crude Southern Cross ink. You will then be hurled out back onto the streets, marked forever as unclean.

The huddled masses creep out under cover of darkness to dive into skip bins for scraps left by the rich. On a good night, you might get a couple of leaves off a Woolworth's iceberg lettuce.

Shock jock and right wing nutbag Ray Hadley becomes Special Minister of Propaganda. The barely human Scott Morrison becomes Minister for Pointy Sticks. The permed poodle Christopher Pyne takes control of the Onion Guard. And most chilling? Home and Away stalwart Ray Meagher is appointed Minister for Appropriate Thought Monitoring.

A terrifying future? Yes.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mojo7673:
@pipercadence we have so many that it's almost pointless to mention them. They are just a fact of life.
Sep 30, 2015
_finklestein_:
I don't think I could live there for the spiders alone... I'm sure it's beautiful, just fuck spiders haha
Sep 30, 2015

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