hmm..well..I may say a lot more detailed and general perceptions about me, myself, and social situations, but in brief I'll say I am unsure if I belong going out with groups like the people on this site in larger groups.
I mean it could be just a timing thing, or depend who is in the group, or some other factors but social anxiety disorder feels like it sets in and ya know,m truth be I try my best but sometimes it just doesn't work. I am not good at making conversation with new people if totally blind or they don't seem intrigued by anything I try talking to them about. I mean otherwise I could just shut up and act bored all night with not verbalisations.
Gawd, i just wish for once I'd find some people who actually see conversation and what it's about like I do. And if somehow it seems to drag, well it obviously is up to me to change the subject. I dunno..this is why
a) I am no good at bars or clubs or anything in a general sense.
b) If I am to have any chance of cliqueing or having a good chat, the people need to be older and it helps a great deal if it's 1 on 1, maybe 3 people at most.
c) even amongst some of the people really passionate about shit I am, I still run into conflicts..TMB show is 1 example..although it did have a NEARFEST feel to it, just the spat in the middle of Wisconsin at 3am with John gives an example of why I am cursed to never connect with a group of my own really.
Maybe Michelle...she atleast seems genuinely interested in things I talk about..well..only that she doesn't reply to my journal as much as she might but I bring up so much shit I don't think that is relevant.
Kyle
I mean it could be just a timing thing, or depend who is in the group, or some other factors but social anxiety disorder feels like it sets in and ya know,m truth be I try my best but sometimes it just doesn't work. I am not good at making conversation with new people if totally blind or they don't seem intrigued by anything I try talking to them about. I mean otherwise I could just shut up and act bored all night with not verbalisations.
Gawd, i just wish for once I'd find some people who actually see conversation and what it's about like I do. And if somehow it seems to drag, well it obviously is up to me to change the subject. I dunno..this is why
a) I am no good at bars or clubs or anything in a general sense.
b) If I am to have any chance of cliqueing or having a good chat, the people need to be older and it helps a great deal if it's 1 on 1, maybe 3 people at most.
c) even amongst some of the people really passionate about shit I am, I still run into conflicts..TMB show is 1 example..although it did have a NEARFEST feel to it, just the spat in the middle of Wisconsin at 3am with John gives an example of why I am cursed to never connect with a group of my own really.
Maybe Michelle...she atleast seems genuinely interested in things I talk about..well..only that she doesn't reply to my journal as much as she might but I bring up so much shit I don't think that is relevant.
Kyle
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
eternalkrista:
that was one of the nicest things anyone has ever said! 
benni:
i hugged my computer trying to get to you, but i just don't know how well it worked. worth a try. 
are the odds good you'll find me at an event? survey says yes! when you do, come and collect that hug. 
are the odds good you'll find me at an event? survey says yes! when you do, come and collect that hug.