well. I'm truely fucked now. I just screwed a 2 year relationship up. I really wanted something out of this one. When I first started dating my now ex-gf, i had drunken bad sex with my old gf a few months into our dating. We both wanted to forget that it ever happened cause we realized after how much the people that we were with meant to us and for the first time, decided that we should start taking our relationships seriously like big time a-dults.
she told her bf who she's done this a number of times too and told me that i should keep my mouth shut if i wanted to keep that girl. Some people, god bless them, didn't have a lot of loose relationships. Anyway, my new ex as of yesterday found out about this about a year and a half later. She tried to forgive me, but in the end it just ate away at her like termites to the foundation.
I came back from a long trip about 6-7 months ago and decided that i wanted something different from myself. I learned a lot about who i was and got some perspective about where i was going with myself and started becoming the man that she met so many years ago before all of this shit started - a genuinely sweet and caring person.
I quit smoking and started allowing my emotions to come out now about a lot of things. cigs were a way for me to turn off a lot of pain. I've had a lot of people die on me in the past decade and cigarettes were there for me (oh boo fucking hoo) to tun off that flood of emotions. now they are gone, i have to let them run out. In someways, i feel like a teenager again. I haven't felt like this since i started smoking.
Next, I started kung fu and focused a lot of stuff. i'm still learning, but part of it is that i'm taking a class again which is something i haven't done for a long time.
Finally, i'm starting to let my friends into my life. I've kept them at arm's length so far where they couldn't hurt me. Now i'm letting them in to my world.
I can't say for sure that it's the end of her and I. I have a lot of friends that are older that have been on the ropes with stuff like this before, so i'm not going to discount it. I just know one fact about this whole thing is that i don't know shit.
she told her bf who she's done this a number of times too and told me that i should keep my mouth shut if i wanted to keep that girl. Some people, god bless them, didn't have a lot of loose relationships. Anyway, my new ex as of yesterday found out about this about a year and a half later. She tried to forgive me, but in the end it just ate away at her like termites to the foundation.
I came back from a long trip about 6-7 months ago and decided that i wanted something different from myself. I learned a lot about who i was and got some perspective about where i was going with myself and started becoming the man that she met so many years ago before all of this shit started - a genuinely sweet and caring person.
I quit smoking and started allowing my emotions to come out now about a lot of things. cigs were a way for me to turn off a lot of pain. I've had a lot of people die on me in the past decade and cigarettes were there for me (oh boo fucking hoo) to tun off that flood of emotions. now they are gone, i have to let them run out. In someways, i feel like a teenager again. I haven't felt like this since i started smoking.
Next, I started kung fu and focused a lot of stuff. i'm still learning, but part of it is that i'm taking a class again which is something i haven't done for a long time.
Finally, i'm starting to let my friends into my life. I've kept them at arm's length so far where they couldn't hurt me. Now i'm letting them in to my world.
I can't say for sure that it's the end of her and I. I have a lot of friends that are older that have been on the ropes with stuff like this before, so i'm not going to discount it. I just know one fact about this whole thing is that i don't know shit.