mistress_b

Now presenting...my last column of the year!

Among the Muff Munchers...

After more than a year of dating women, I very recently went down on one for the first time. And you know what? I liked it. I liked it a lot. I've discovered that pleasuring a woman in this way and feeling her writhe under the influence of my tongue is a huge turn on. Now I'm just left wishing I hadn't waited so long to have a taste.

I did have my reasons, though. For one thing, when I was still new to the whole lady lovin' scene, I used to look at muff diving as the final nail in the flannel-covered coffin of lesbianism. It didn't matter that I identify as bisexual. I still figured that in the event of the key people in my life (family, more conservative friends, etc.) wanting to chastise me for being queer, I could defend myself by mentioning the fact that I at least hadn't done that.

Besides, getting a mouthful of something new and foreign isn't exactly my bag. I'm very easily grossed out, and therefore, a picky eater. I've been known to forgo gourmet seafood at the fanciest restaurants in New Orleans to have chicken nuggets instead. So quite naturally, I was very selective about which vagina I would taste first.

Of course, all of my wariness was in vain. I finally digested the fact that people are going to talk regardless of what I do or do not do. Plus, I already knew that I loved everything else I had ever done with women, so what was the point in preventing a new and potentially delicious experience with them?

All that said, I didn't set out to pleasure my lady in this way the night I actually did it. Making out turned into groping, which turned into fingering, which turned into, "Why not? I'm already down here."

The taste wasn't something I expected, either. I imagined it would be something along the lines of what a man squirts out, but that wasn't it at all. Actually, I didn't experience any particular taste. My tongue was met with inviting warmth and a touch of gentle acidity, kind of like the zing you experience when sipping black coffee or sucking on a lemon.

I found giving her oral sex to be an extremely enjoyable act once I got into the groove of it, and I daresay it allowed me to do a better job of helping her reach her peak. With my tongue entertaining her clit, my fingers were able to concentrate more intensely on her G-spot. This resulted in one of the most powerful orgasms I had ever assisted her in achieving, and one of my proudest sexual moments as well.

After it was all said and done, I was still left with the task of telling my best friend that I had finally ventured into that territory. As a gay man completely disgusted with female genitalia, he had (jokingly) told me many times since I started dating chicks that we could no longer be friends if I ever went through with it. In reality, he was grossly fascinated with the idea, kind of like when you can't take your eyes off of an accident as you drive past. You don't really want to see or know specific details about the carnage, but you still can't help from observing as much as possible. I couldn't have dreamed up a funnier scene for my confession than what actually happened.

A little while after my muff diving adventure, I picked him up so we could go out to dinner. In the car on the way to the restaurant, Kanye West's "Gold Digger" came on the radio. He was singing along with the song, and when it got to the part where Kanye says, "get down girl, go head get down," I looked over to him and said, "Funny you should mention that."

He let out a chuckle and kept singing, not really following what I was insinuating. A few seconds later, he froze and said, "Are you serious?" I nodded. The rest of the ride consisted of him pretending like he was going to throw up. Later, as we were waiting to be seated at the restaurant, I casually mentioned that going down on a chick wasn't as bad as he was thinking. He shuddered and said, "Do we have to talk about this?" I laughed and dropped the topic.

If I've learned anything from this whole experience, it's that you really should try new things in every aspect of your life, especially sexually, because you might end up loving what you discover. Hell, I may even sample the seafood next time I'm in New Orleans.



Read more from Brook at her blog: http://thecarolinian-mistress.blogspot.com