Hello There!
I have been thinking lately, there are so many shouting voices out there and no one is listening to one another. People are spouting 140 character platitudes and not really learning or thinking about what the other people have to say. I feel like we choose our stance Bernie, Clinton, Trump, NRA, Brexit, Team Taylor, Team Kimye. We identify what group we belong to and learn our talking points and don't actually listen or question ourselves beyond that. I understand the desire to fit into a group, to live in a John Hughes world of categories, there is safety in numbers. But when we stop listening to each other we don't move forward.
I was just doing an interview with German Playboy and we were talking about the reactions the girls got and he was asking me about haters. I said that we get plenty of trolls on other social networks but that the people on SuicideGirls are supportive and positive. This was not my first time noting how awesome you all are. I replied with my usual response that since it is a membership based community people value their memberships and keep things positive but I think that is only a small portion of it.
The thing that makes this community unique I think is that we have all felt like outsiders and we all know what it is like to feel like we don't fit in. I think that gives us a unique perspective to be more tolerant and not make others feel the way that we have felt in our lives. We are supportive because we know what it feels like to be made fun of. We know what it feels like to be teased and have mean spirited things said about us. So the shitty base level comments you find on Facebook, instagram, et all just don't exist here. We know what it is like to be reduced to the lowest common denominator. We appreciate what it takes to put ourselves out there artistically, emotionally, physically, figuratively and literally. It is a remarkably unique thing, on the internet or anywhere.
As a community we are kind and generous and positive with our time and open our minds to discussion and keep our nasty comments to ourselves for the most part, although I have seen some amazing come back one liners over the years. I am immensely proud of our community here and think that it is incredible to have so many best friendships, and couples and business partners that have found each other here. SuicideGirls is a shining example that the internet can be civilized, if we really try :)
I am so proud of the fact that we have so many international voices, and that it lends a varied perspective to our debates. That was impossible without the internet, and would be impossible to have on other social networks. Where the shouting is deafening.
One of the fundamental truths of the world is that people are averse to suffering and want to assuage that at all costs. Suffering embarrassment, suffering hunger, suffering jealousy, suffering physically, suffering emotionally, suffering financially. It's kind of the secret to conflict resolution, try to hear what people think will make them suffer or why they are suffering on both sides through their rhetoric and try to think of the solution that will make both sides suffer the least.
Clearly the world has problems and disagreements and people are suffering. What scares me about the recent trend is that we are turning deaf ears and hiding behind our group mottos. No one is listening or talking or thinking.
We are never going to make progress if we retreat into these easily categorized worm holes. Maybe try to keep that in mind the next time Uncle Fred spouts off some anti-immigration sentiment on Facebook. Try to figure out why he feels like immigrants make him suffer, talk about the root cause and see if you can't strike accord instead of just yelling back or ignoring his pain.
I don't know, that is my plea for some sanity in this crazy mixed up world we live in. I think we have an amazing community made up of diverse thinkers and conversationalists. I feel incredibly lucky to have you guys to hold onto and hope that maybe we can do some good in the world by helping to facilitate conversations instead of just contributing to the shouting.
xoxo
-missy
