I never realised how much alcohol was apart of my life. I know I'm a bartender, so that last sentance seems rather redundant. Tonight I finished at 11pm, I went downstairs and was offered drinks within the first 10 minutes by no less than 5 people. Part of me just wanted to give in & have one. But I really need this to work. I feel like it's going to be the same with sex. I'm not looking nor wanting but I know it's going to be offered to me a million times over because of that.
Talked to my Mum about what's been going on. We've made a tentative agreement that what she's here at Christmas, If I'm worse than I am now, that I'd go back with her when they leave. I'd keep my apartment rented so it wouldn't feel so closed and final but that I'd stay with them & work & try something different. Sometimes I just want to be looked after. That's really not how I want to live my life though.
Is this depressing since I'm having a good day today??
I want pancake manor... but for someone else to gain the weight...
