misha9999999

jazz standards vol. 1 is a staple in my collection

gorgeous fucking picture.

something about fingers on ivory that makes me melty and my heart beat in my ears.

thanks again.

[Edited on Jul 02, 2003]

you need to mud wrastle.

please lure penny to cleveland for me.

On How I Am A Complete And Total Pussy
a slightly drunken essay by Heather McHeather

So I showed up at your show tonight only to discover to my horror that it was this casual, personal sort of thing and so, in horror, my friend and I decided not to go, as we'd have none of that lovely cover of anonymity and we are shy in that stupid extroverted way. Instead we were going to head to Arabica for a bit to kill time before meeting some people later on, but as we was walking down Hessler your friend randomly invited us in from the street and seeing as I do not have the balls to explain that I am in fact a random and rather bored girl who has vaguely talked to you on a PORN SITE we pretended not to know of the show, went in, looked around for a bit, drank some of your quite horrid red wine, gave my email address to your friend, and left. So basically, hallo, I'm heather, I was the kid with the reddish hair and glasses who was with the pretty blonde girl. Nice to meet you.

Oh, and, as someone who has no idea what she's talking about, I really, really liked you art.

[Edited on Jun 28, 2003]

if i had the power to make one out of myself, i would gladly do all that i could for you.

brilliant. now i can stalk you even more than just following you to knew yark.

regarding slowness: as for me, i am very impatient, but at the same time i want it all to go on forever. stupid, right?

damn i wish i didnt have to work. id love to see your art up close and personal.

i've tried erasing him from my life.....from my heart.
once the anger lessens a bit, i miss him so.

your list is my list as well.

that's pretty much what i'm sayin', yeah.

i havent quite found home yet either...
beginning to think it doesn't exist...
but there is room for hope...

WHAT are you talking about?!

i think you're wonderful.
i don't need you, certainly... i don't even want to think i need anything right now than what makes me happy because i've had far too little of that...
i'm tired of thinking i need people or that people need me for that matter

look at this. you're getting me all worked up.
dammit, misha... i'm just happy that someone sparks an anything in me anymore - i'm sick of apathy.

so thanks.
that's all.

this is a reason i don't have many friends... i have too much. i give too much. always the "bob" because i want people to feel what i feel and someone wants to take it like it means the world.
it doesn't mean SHIT... just a tiny piece of me.
it's up to me, tho... what i give away...
and some days - i just assume flush it all down the fucking toilet


you told me once i seemed like too much of a romantic or something
maybe that's it... i live in la la land far too much of the time.
but that's where i want to be, isn't it.
thank goodness this day's almost over. i want to get it over with.

and ya know, just as cue - i'll want it back tomorrow.


ah yeah - just to make a tiny bit of sense to this -
i'm tired of illusions, myself.
very very very spent on them

all one cent of me.


and what's MORE is that the key on one side and the cage on the other must mean that a person would bend you in half to open you up...
what about folding out?

::::
oh yeah
also walking contradiction
(let me just leave you a little diary , here)
i don't think people take it as enough
but we all have our own neuroses (whatever that plural is) so it doesn't really make a shit of difference.

i could give my entire life away
peel my skin off, take the brain out of my head, the heart out of my chest, the shoes off my feet with the miles they've walked and it wouldn't mean much shit to anyone.
so it really doesn't matter.
you take what you will - for what it's worth.

i don't want to hurt or hate or whatever.

it's okay.
just say what you mean... not like i think THAT's even possible.

i guess just try...
and someone will love you for it.
:::


stiiiiiill wonderful.


[Edited on Jun 23, 2003]


and ya wanna know what else, mister misha?
i don't really have all that much...
it just means more to me.

call me insensitive. or overly dramatic.

what the fuck ever.

[Edited on Jun 23, 2003]

wow... a dickhead...

would that not make you cross eyed?

*should stop trying to be funny*

i think i might find it hard to spit OVER my left shoulder, but i've practiced spitting - from the car especially - so maybe i could manage. but i don't consider myself particularly superstitious, so *shrug*
the walk sounds gorgeous. i had wine with friends last night as well, but ended up in a sex shop instead of roaming around plucking fruit and dreaming of prostitution. ...hrm...
i love food, too. i'm looking to expand on that - um... but not expand. gee whiz that could come out all wrong.
i don't remember my dreams most of the time. i remember i had dreams, just not the dreams. and not even that sometimes. i think it would be really interesting. maybe i should document them. i can't ever write fast enough.
for sixteen dollars, i think all of that is worth it.
i really like the shirts of wife-beater variety. i swim in them, actually. funny that i was sharing the very story with a coworker this morning - about how odd that i tie one up and wear another one over top. comfy. much more so than whatever they make swim suits of.
i don't have white shoes.
the opera story is endearing. i think dad singing is a good memory. i haven't seen many but appreciate them, as well.
influence - i don't think we can escape it ever.

i was thinking about that squish thing, but when you said dirty i thought "you can citruself down right here" ...
your idea is better.
i doubt i smell like oranges, but could arrange as much. vanilla pear is mostly my thing, but sometimes citrus in a general scent, and then sometimes earthy amberish. i dunno - i sit in my smell, so how can i tell?

this is a long little note, eh?

*<

[Edited on Jun 19, 2003]

just cunts, wine, and miller for me.

in regards to your comment:
your favorite work of art?
and also - i want to know! do not refrain! share the dirty words! (please?)
i like it when you tell me about your days, ya know? wine sounds divine.

i like smilies sometimes

yummy stuffed peppers...
incense, tea, studio, (buy some of those curly mosquito repellent burning things), why don't i have your cell in my cell?, i still want to too, i would like to have french fashion magazines - must hunt them down or start to regular 'zine shops.
dress up would be fun. but i'm not good doll material - dolls are mostly flawless, smooth smooth skin, no scars... besides, who wants to be burried under a bed. (is this not consolation for me who would almost wish to be a dolling)

i bet you are a sweetie, from time to time.

: also : your ''s are ?'s... ???
: also : why wow? are you trying to make me hot?

grease is the word.

[Edited on Jun 17, 2003]

i call my friends sweetie and doll and baby and such. its just a term of endearment becuz i care for my friends. and i cant be your doll. girly clothes dont fit me well.