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misha9999999

Member Since 2002

Followers 14 Following 15

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Sunday Jun 22, 2003

Jun 22, 2003
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I asked a friend of mine if he's happy being with
his girl. So he told me: "Some girls are like a vacation,
you're really having fun but in the back
of your mind you know it's gonna end soon. And some are like home.
You just feel like you belong here."

I've been in prison, to Amsterdam
and Alabama...I've stayed in hotels and hostels...
Crashed with people and friends...
Well, I wish to find my home someday.



simple, but true.


M.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
pilar:
i havent quite found home yet either...
beginning to think it doesn't exist...
but there is room for hope...
Jun 22, 2003
citrus:
WHAT are you talking about?!

i think you're wonderful.
i don't need you, certainly... i don't even want to think i need anything right now than what makes me happy because i've had far too little of that...
i'm tired of thinking i need people or that people need me for that matter

look at this. you're getting me all worked up.
dammit, misha... i'm just happy that someone sparks an anything in me anymore - i'm sick of apathy.

so thanks.
that's all.

this is a reason i don't have many friends... i have too much. i give too much. always the "bob" because i want people to feel what i feel and someone wants to take it like it means the world.
it doesn't mean SHIT... just a tiny piece of me.
it's up to me, tho... what i give away...
and some days - i just assume flush it all down the fucking toilet


you told me once i seemed like too much of a romantic or something
maybe that's it... i live in la la land far too much of the time.
but that's where i want to be, isn't it.
thank goodness this day's almost over. i want to get it over with.

and ya know, just as cue - i'll want it back tomorrow.


ah yeah - just to make a tiny bit of sense to this -
i'm tired of illusions, myself.
very very very spent on them

all one cent of me.


and what's MORE is that the key on one side and the cage on the other must mean that a person would bend you in half to open you up...
what about folding out?

::::
oh yeah
also walking contradiction
(let me just leave you a little diary , here)
i don't think people take it as enough
but we all have our own neuroses (whatever that plural is) so it doesn't really make a shit of difference.

i could give my entire life away
peel my skin off, take the brain out of my head, the heart out of my chest, the shoes off my feet with the miles they've walked and it wouldn't mean much shit to anyone.
so it really doesn't matter.
you take what you will - for what it's worth.

i don't want to hurt or hate or whatever.

it's okay.
just say what you mean... not like i think THAT's even possible.

i guess just try...
and someone will love you for it.
:::


stiiiiiill wonderful.


[Edited on Jun 23, 2003]


and ya wanna know what else, mister misha?
i don't really have all that much...
it just means more to me.

call me insensitive. or overly dramatic.

what the fuck ever.

[Edited on Jun 23, 2003]
Jun 22, 2003

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