I don't understand this need to be in relationships...
I mean, what can you get out of a relationship that you can't get out of a friendship...besides sex? I have a lot of really close friends...we cuddle, we express ourselves in an intimate way...not necessarily including sex. We do stuff together, and have fun, and really connect...and I'm wondering what all this fuss is about being in a relationship with someone, finding a soul mate, falling in love...I just can't comprehend it. What's so different about it? What is the difference between a relationship and a friendship?
I think this whole misunderstanding came about when my best friend started a new relationship. Its still fairly new, but all he's been talking about is how he wants to settle down, and start a life with someone.
What I can't understand is why he feels the need for a relationship, when I've been trying to give him everything he wants and ever needed, practically our entire lives. Why does he feel this need to settle down, when he has a perfectly good, close friend, who is willing to give him everything he could possibly want?
I feel like I'm being replaced, for one. And two, I feel like, because I don't understand relationships and love, and because I don't want to be in one, and everyone is in one, I feel left out. I feel like everyone was invited to a party, except me. And I'm happily playing in the front yard, by myself, while all the couples are inside, drinking, and dancing...having babies...and I'm perfectly content being alone...but I still can't help but think I'm missing something. All my friends have left me to be in this party, this exclusive club, where I'm the only non-member.
Does anyone else not comprehend? Or am I the only permiscuous one among a bunch of happy heteros?
I mean, what can you get out of a relationship that you can't get out of a friendship...besides sex? I have a lot of really close friends...we cuddle, we express ourselves in an intimate way...not necessarily including sex. We do stuff together, and have fun, and really connect...and I'm wondering what all this fuss is about being in a relationship with someone, finding a soul mate, falling in love...I just can't comprehend it. What's so different about it? What is the difference between a relationship and a friendship?
I think this whole misunderstanding came about when my best friend started a new relationship. Its still fairly new, but all he's been talking about is how he wants to settle down, and start a life with someone.
What I can't understand is why he feels the need for a relationship, when I've been trying to give him everything he wants and ever needed, practically our entire lives. Why does he feel this need to settle down, when he has a perfectly good, close friend, who is willing to give him everything he could possibly want?
I feel like I'm being replaced, for one. And two, I feel like, because I don't understand relationships and love, and because I don't want to be in one, and everyone is in one, I feel left out. I feel like everyone was invited to a party, except me. And I'm happily playing in the front yard, by myself, while all the couples are inside, drinking, and dancing...having babies...and I'm perfectly content being alone...but I still can't help but think I'm missing something. All my friends have left me to be in this party, this exclusive club, where I'm the only non-member.
Does anyone else not comprehend? Or am I the only permiscuous one among a bunch of happy heteros?
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
You friend's desire to "settle down" isn't about replacing you but about finding someone who will fulfill all of his needs, including the physical ones.
But you shouldn't feel like you're missing something because you're not chasing a concept of partnering and coupling. You're not. If you're happy the way that you live your life, you've got a leg up on 90% of people who are chasing a couple life. You are content in your own skin while so many are looking for someone to make them feel content in their own skin.
You should be happy that you're the way you are. I think you're incredible.