i have returned Fairfax.
so, pagan weekend. it was good, interesting. educational if you will. i feel like it would have been a lot better if i hadn't been horrifically sick the entire time. i truly regret i have probably made monika and theresa sick too....sorry ladies.
i was really expecting some kind of great...fufillment of understanding by being in the same place with those sorts of people. i didn't come. i felt alienated. i felt like the kind of thing i do, and i think and i deal with is not even related to what they were all about. i guess i'm not a religious person. i mean, rituals and what have you. it left me feeling cold and rebellious the same way going to catholic serve does or sitting in synagogue. the feeling was the same. i felt like i didn't belong there. i have no idea where i belong. i know i beleive in stuff, everything really. i don't think i'm religious. maybe nicole and seana are right, the religion of morality and the avoidance of organization may be the way to go. i just don't think i really need to be attaching religion to what i do, because realistically...it's not religious.
so yeah...a little dissapointed...mostly with myself. i guess there comes a time where i have to face this again, not knowing what i am, but being able to know what i am not.
yeah, but anyway we also went to a west va strip club. the understated and sensual establishment we entered was named, Vixens, i think. it was pretty good. i was impressed. those naked women, really very sweet, classy ladies. with incredible mad-skills. they are real athletes, moving muscles i don't think i have. i want to be just like them when i grow up. yeah. i was a little disarmed at first by the totality of their nakedness. "oh, hello, there's your cooter...right in my personal space." yeah. but we did it right. parted with a lot of $1;s. and uh, even went to a 'special show' which was indeed, 'specail' yeah. so a lot of respect for those women, they work a job where asshole men degrade them, when they really deserve to be treated like goddesses because firstly they are beautiful, and talented and were nice like i didn't even beleive. seriously i didn't think women with perfect boobs, and perfect asses, and perfectly naked, and with great hair and nails and just everything would be so nice. esp. to people like me. awesome.
then i went down to North Carolina to fufill my great ambition of the past four years. i went to Warped Tour. I went with nicole, obviously, there is no other i would ever have as my partner in crime, there is no person more perfect to complete my exsistence, to make trouble with, to go to shows with, to launch important initives like 'Operation Bed The Casualties" [Rick Lopez...we will get you.] it was awesome, and mostly because nicole was there to ensure the perfection of the completion of my dream.
so, all of my years being into punk rock, which has been about four years now, i have pined to go to Warped Tour. i have been to plenty of shows. i have seen hundreads of bands, i have met many many many bands, many men in bands, many roadies, many members of stage crews, many venue employees, i know a lot of bouncers, and secuirty staff, shit some my closest friends work stage crew at patriot center. i am on one-on-one with 930 staff. i have spent between 6 and 24 hours at shows. i have paid inordinante amouts for shows, and i have gotten in free. i paid up to $30 for shirts and gotten shirts free.i have been to venues of all sizes from bars to football stadiums. i have seen huge bands, and tiny bands. i got to shows. everyone knows this about colva weissenstein - girl goes to shows. like no one else. but i had never been to the warped tour. and finally this summer, nicole decided i would come and see her in NC and we would go to the warped date down there. we went to releigh.
i got to see:
Rise Against,
The Casualties
AFI
NOFX
Joan Jett
Anti-Flag
Bouncing Souls
a bunch of bands i don't even care about...the starting line, underoath. whatever. it . was amazing and it rained. pretty much all day. we got really wet and we danced and sang and it was perfect. it was everything i dreamt it would be.
warped tour is like the most choatic thing you can imagine X10. and then it's covered in water. it was punk rock and politics and emo and hardcore and skate boarding. it was awesome.
strangely i didn't get my great fufillment at a religious festival, i didn't get it from pagans, once again, just like the show at 930 with anti-flag, the unseen and the casualties
i felt it again. this amazing sense of being somewhere i belonged, and realising that these people are the people who make me happy and make me feel like i belong somewhere. i have feelings akin to spirituality at shows. i have feels of brotherhood and familial love for the punk rock kids at shows and for the bands i love. i would rather die tomorrow than know i couldn't live this life. i realise this is all i want in the world. i want to go to shows with my best friend and sing along to anti-flag and get wet in the rain like we did when we were little. i want sing til my voice goes and get so close my ear drums burst and die. i don't care. i don't want to grow up, i don't care what anyone thinks about this, this is what i care about. i care about that community. the guy from rise against was saying how beautiful it is to see kids out at shows and how special it is to be a part of the punk rock community. i can seriously say i get something from this i have never had before. i love it.
love.
i love it all.
and in other good news ...
rumour has it, GC are back on the east coast...we shall see....[well, obviously because i left DC for like 3 days...]
so, pagan weekend. it was good, interesting. educational if you will. i feel like it would have been a lot better if i hadn't been horrifically sick the entire time. i truly regret i have probably made monika and theresa sick too....sorry ladies.
i was really expecting some kind of great...fufillment of understanding by being in the same place with those sorts of people. i didn't come. i felt alienated. i felt like the kind of thing i do, and i think and i deal with is not even related to what they were all about. i guess i'm not a religious person. i mean, rituals and what have you. it left me feeling cold and rebellious the same way going to catholic serve does or sitting in synagogue. the feeling was the same. i felt like i didn't belong there. i have no idea where i belong. i know i beleive in stuff, everything really. i don't think i'm religious. maybe nicole and seana are right, the religion of morality and the avoidance of organization may be the way to go. i just don't think i really need to be attaching religion to what i do, because realistically...it's not religious.
so yeah...a little dissapointed...mostly with myself. i guess there comes a time where i have to face this again, not knowing what i am, but being able to know what i am not.
yeah, but anyway we also went to a west va strip club. the understated and sensual establishment we entered was named, Vixens, i think. it was pretty good. i was impressed. those naked women, really very sweet, classy ladies. with incredible mad-skills. they are real athletes, moving muscles i don't think i have. i want to be just like them when i grow up. yeah. i was a little disarmed at first by the totality of their nakedness. "oh, hello, there's your cooter...right in my personal space." yeah. but we did it right. parted with a lot of $1;s. and uh, even went to a 'special show' which was indeed, 'specail' yeah. so a lot of respect for those women, they work a job where asshole men degrade them, when they really deserve to be treated like goddesses because firstly they are beautiful, and talented and were nice like i didn't even beleive. seriously i didn't think women with perfect boobs, and perfect asses, and perfectly naked, and with great hair and nails and just everything would be so nice. esp. to people like me. awesome.
then i went down to North Carolina to fufill my great ambition of the past four years. i went to Warped Tour. I went with nicole, obviously, there is no other i would ever have as my partner in crime, there is no person more perfect to complete my exsistence, to make trouble with, to go to shows with, to launch important initives like 'Operation Bed The Casualties" [Rick Lopez...we will get you.] it was awesome, and mostly because nicole was there to ensure the perfection of the completion of my dream.
so, all of my years being into punk rock, which has been about four years now, i have pined to go to Warped Tour. i have been to plenty of shows. i have seen hundreads of bands, i have met many many many bands, many men in bands, many roadies, many members of stage crews, many venue employees, i know a lot of bouncers, and secuirty staff, shit some my closest friends work stage crew at patriot center. i am on one-on-one with 930 staff. i have spent between 6 and 24 hours at shows. i have paid inordinante amouts for shows, and i have gotten in free. i paid up to $30 for shirts and gotten shirts free.i have been to venues of all sizes from bars to football stadiums. i have seen huge bands, and tiny bands. i got to shows. everyone knows this about colva weissenstein - girl goes to shows. like no one else. but i had never been to the warped tour. and finally this summer, nicole decided i would come and see her in NC and we would go to the warped date down there. we went to releigh.
i got to see:
Rise Against,
The Casualties
AFI
NOFX
Joan Jett
Anti-Flag
Bouncing Souls
a bunch of bands i don't even care about...the starting line, underoath. whatever. it . was amazing and it rained. pretty much all day. we got really wet and we danced and sang and it was perfect. it was everything i dreamt it would be.
warped tour is like the most choatic thing you can imagine X10. and then it's covered in water. it was punk rock and politics and emo and hardcore and skate boarding. it was awesome.
strangely i didn't get my great fufillment at a religious festival, i didn't get it from pagans, once again, just like the show at 930 with anti-flag, the unseen and the casualties
i felt it again. this amazing sense of being somewhere i belonged, and realising that these people are the people who make me happy and make me feel like i belong somewhere. i have feelings akin to spirituality at shows. i have feels of brotherhood and familial love for the punk rock kids at shows and for the bands i love. i would rather die tomorrow than know i couldn't live this life. i realise this is all i want in the world. i want to go to shows with my best friend and sing along to anti-flag and get wet in the rain like we did when we were little. i want sing til my voice goes and get so close my ear drums burst and die. i don't care. i don't want to grow up, i don't care what anyone thinks about this, this is what i care about. i care about that community. the guy from rise against was saying how beautiful it is to see kids out at shows and how special it is to be a part of the punk rock community. i can seriously say i get something from this i have never had before. i love it.
love.
i love it all.
and in other good news ...
rumour has it, GC are back on the east coast...we shall see....[well, obviously because i left DC for like 3 days...]