today is june 1st.
i wrote an entry last night.
i posted and then i decided it was just too much.
june 1st. one whole year since nicole and i stood outside in the rain all day and then saw relient k, simple plan and good charlotte in charlotte NC.
i'm in bar habour, maine.
and it's raining right now.
yeah. while june 1st makes me think of 'some things' it's deeply rooted in the dedication demonstrated by my closest friends.
they are my heart, my family. you make everything possible, when i'm in the thick of my own disaster and when you're helping me recover.
[nicole. thank you for being there on the best night ever. i know we'll do so many more times like that. there's no one in the whole world i would have as my partner in crime. i said to you that night, we'd give this shit 5 more shows, and if i couldn't pull my shit together i'd move on, didn't think a whole year of emptiness would go by. but i guess i'm still in the game.]
[seana . you were both there for the other very important days, rockville, nutcracker, hfstival. thank you. i'm so happy you're around and that the three of us. you, gigs and i are friends. i'd be lost without you guys.]
this has been the longest and the shortest year of my life.
today it's hard to grip that it's been a whole year.
one is easy to understand that after all that time, i can honestly sit here and say that i feel as exhilirated and as empassioned as i did that night. so many days,
i think i took things for granted, and that sometimes i push it [you] all too far away and that i might forget the little things.
but when i think about it, i know i haven't. i know i could sit and relive every second of each of those days over and over.
but that's no life.
for the first time in a long time, i feel some level of control of my more out-of-control emotions.
but this has been a long year.
i've hurt more than i ever thought possible.
i seriously never beleived i would miss someone so much.
there's been nothing to do but wait.
i'm usually very impaitent.
but i know i could wait for you forever. whether i will is completely different thing.
but what i do know is that after this year, basically just to think about all this. i
feel the same way. i
feel controlled.
but i love you as much. and i miss you like hell.
Link
i wrote an entry last night.
i posted and then i decided it was just too much.
june 1st. one whole year since nicole and i stood outside in the rain all day and then saw relient k, simple plan and good charlotte in charlotte NC.
i'm in bar habour, maine.
and it's raining right now.
yeah. while june 1st makes me think of 'some things' it's deeply rooted in the dedication demonstrated by my closest friends.
they are my heart, my family. you make everything possible, when i'm in the thick of my own disaster and when you're helping me recover.
[nicole. thank you for being there on the best night ever. i know we'll do so many more times like that. there's no one in the whole world i would have as my partner in crime. i said to you that night, we'd give this shit 5 more shows, and if i couldn't pull my shit together i'd move on, didn't think a whole year of emptiness would go by. but i guess i'm still in the game.]
[seana . you were both there for the other very important days, rockville, nutcracker, hfstival. thank you. i'm so happy you're around and that the three of us. you, gigs and i are friends. i'd be lost without you guys.]
this has been the longest and the shortest year of my life.
today it's hard to grip that it's been a whole year.
one is easy to understand that after all that time, i can honestly sit here and say that i feel as exhilirated and as empassioned as i did that night. so many days,
i think i took things for granted, and that sometimes i push it [you] all too far away and that i might forget the little things.
but when i think about it, i know i haven't. i know i could sit and relive every second of each of those days over and over.
but that's no life.
for the first time in a long time, i feel some level of control of my more out-of-control emotions.
but this has been a long year.
i've hurt more than i ever thought possible.
i seriously never beleived i would miss someone so much.
there's been nothing to do but wait.
i'm usually very impaitent.
but i know i could wait for you forever. whether i will is completely different thing.
but what i do know is that after this year, basically just to think about all this. i
feel the same way. i
feel controlled.
but i love you as much. and i miss you like hell.
Link