Something beautiful to distract from my depressing entry. 
Gawd i wish i could have this print!!!___________________________________________________________________________________________________
As many of you know, Christopher Reeve died on Sunday. Now this may seem like another celebrity death, but his work with raising awareness for paralysis holds a very special place in my heart. My biological father is paralyzed from the neck down. He broke his neck when i was 5 months old, i cannot remember him ever walking. Doctors gave him 5 years to live, that was 1980... and he is still alive. But he is no Christopher Reeve. When my father broke his neck, he refused therapies and treatments that would give him a more livable life. He became bitter, gruff and downright mean. Now, 24 years since his accident he has had both legs amputated, survived a heart attack and quadruple bypass, and has made it thru several major pressure sores, the same type of sore that led to Mr. Reeve's death.
I havent spoken to my dad in years. He really has no interest in my life, and never bothered to call me when he moved and changed his number. He is a spiteful man who thinks the world owes him because he is injured. He kept many friends around over the years with the lure of sharing his vast stock of the many painpills and sedatives he was prescribed. He has led a mean hearted life... so why is HE alive when a man like Christopher Reeve has passed on???
I know this is my father i am talking about, but if someone had to go, i would not have chosen it to be Mr. Reeve. Another theory i have is that for all of my fathers past evils and horrible things he did before the accident, that God has sentenced him to a purgatory in that broken withering body. And since Chris Reeve did so much to persevere, God or a higher power took him from this earth so he could be comfortable again. Yes, i am rationalizig, but i feel that i must because this has just impacted my heart so intensely.
I cant write anymore... my head is hurting and none of this seemingly is leading anywhere.
et amo pectore
Cattra
Gawd i wish i could have this print!!!___________________________________________________________________________________________________
As many of you know, Christopher Reeve died on Sunday. Now this may seem like another celebrity death, but his work with raising awareness for paralysis holds a very special place in my heart. My biological father is paralyzed from the neck down. He broke his neck when i was 5 months old, i cannot remember him ever walking. Doctors gave him 5 years to live, that was 1980... and he is still alive. But he is no Christopher Reeve. When my father broke his neck, he refused therapies and treatments that would give him a more livable life. He became bitter, gruff and downright mean. Now, 24 years since his accident he has had both legs amputated, survived a heart attack and quadruple bypass, and has made it thru several major pressure sores, the same type of sore that led to Mr. Reeve's death.
I havent spoken to my dad in years. He really has no interest in my life, and never bothered to call me when he moved and changed his number. He is a spiteful man who thinks the world owes him because he is injured. He kept many friends around over the years with the lure of sharing his vast stock of the many painpills and sedatives he was prescribed. He has led a mean hearted life... so why is HE alive when a man like Christopher Reeve has passed on???
I know this is my father i am talking about, but if someone had to go, i would not have chosen it to be Mr. Reeve. Another theory i have is that for all of my fathers past evils and horrible things he did before the accident, that God has sentenced him to a purgatory in that broken withering body. And since Chris Reeve did so much to persevere, God or a higher power took him from this earth so he could be comfortable again. Yes, i am rationalizig, but i feel that i must because this has just impacted my heart so intensely.
I cant write anymore... my head is hurting and none of this seemingly is leading anywhere.
et amo pectore
Cattra
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
MM
To put it simply: my dad is fucked up in head. I don't mean like crazy, but I just don't think he realize what his actions are doing to me, my mom, my brother, pretty much anybody that knows him. This guy claimed to have loved me, but then turns around and denies that I'm his son in order to avoid paying child support. He tried harass my mom after the divorce, he broke my stepdad's arm. I can go on and on but I'll stop here.
I guess the point I'm trying to get at here is that your father and my father are very bitter, very apatheic human beings who no longer give a fuck about the world b/c, they think, the world don't give a fuck about them. Plus they set in their ways. So my advice to say "fuck 'em". I know it sounds harsh, but if they don't want to be a part of our lives, then it's their lose, not ours. I don't know where my father lives, but if I did, I'll just sit his ass and asked "What the fuck were you thinking?" Not that it matters now, but I just wanna hear his explanation. Anyway, I'm just typing like crazy so Imma let you go. Have a very beautiful, wonderous day
P.S. Your profile pic......