mindless

So I've decided to just give up for now on getting a car, seeing as how I've turned down for a loan more times than Carrot Top at the Superman auditions. I guess I'll just save up money for a couple months and then have enough for a big down payment. This whole not having a car thing for the last month has stressed me out so much I think my hair is falling out. Any remedies out there? Maybe sex. Would sex work?

Update: Hm. Leisa just wrote me back an email replying to the one I wrote her that I spoke of in my last journal. I think she is a bit mad at me. I'm in love with her and she isn't with me. I guess I'm just jealous that that douchebag Josh guy she's with gets to be with her, even after I put in so much time with her and blah blah blah. I would have done anything for her, and I did. I just feel like nothing. She said that I verbally attacked her. But she knows I have a problem with being around her and that guy. I mean, why would I want to see the girl I love with someone else? Am I making any sense? Should I just pull my heart out and give it to her? Anyway, I wrote her back and elaborated on why I wrote the letter in the first place. Because I am tired of faking it and lying to myself thinking that there is a chance for me and her. How could there be if she doesn't even like me like that? I told her that I have always thought she was the perfect girl for me, and that it's ripping me apart inside to know that I'm not the perfect guy for her. No matter how hard I try to move on from her I can't. Give me something for the pain, before it starts again.
"I can't be, until you're resting here with me..."