So, yesterday I turned 39 old... and at the moment I can not wait to NOT turn 40. But! This year my birthday was remembered by three more people, than last year, of which one was my ex-wife... I usually don't like my birthday, but this year... I fucking hated it! My bank account shows such a deep minus I don't even know if I'll...
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bookcouple:
I’m so sorry, I hope things get better

I found this pic on 9gag and somehow I had to think of me... except, I don't have any friends or people who would take me on any adventure or whatever... I think some can relate to this...

My heart is in pieces as my life is now completely devastated... today in the morning at 5.15 o'clock I was awakend by my beloved dog Sheila who was downstairs in the living room making some noise. Nothing unusual, as she had trouble with her hip and couldn't walk properly without help anymore. So she was sleeping in the living room and not anymore in...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
bookcouple:
I’m so so sorry
chroi:
bless you, I'm so sorry for your loss.

I feel more and more useless in this world and for months now I only have some very short moments of joy... if any. Hell, even my beloved dog has more problems with walking and she will merely turn 11 one day before I turn 39... And that fucks me up completely! I can't do anything for my dog and have to watch how she...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
bookcouple:
I hope you don’t give up, we are here for you and happy to have you... keep fighting, you are worth it
miloszbeardlove:
Thank you lovely people! I really appreciate the words from you. My biggest problem is simply I don't see any sense in continuing what I do now. No matter if working for my father, being nice or working my ass off for wrestling. I am in such a fucking big abyss at the moment it just sucks horribly. Worst thing about all the shit surrounding me is being alone... like completely alone... Until two years ago I used to say I have friends where I live and all the wrestling involved people. But even when I put out a message or a "scream for help" out on facebook or as my Whatsapp status, I only get replys like: "Hey, cheer up, everything will be fine" or the best/worse: "Come on, you'll find someone" And some even think I'm joking when I post something. It's horrible knowing none of the people I know even tried or came over, called me or at least showed me that they really would care... It might sound cheesy, but after all that I've done for others and what I still like to do, there is not one person who validates what I do and/or gives me the feeling of being of value for them. The only one who somehow realises what I give is the guy I am doing commentary with for NEW. And he's living a bit over 110miles/175km away from me. Working for my father gets more and more exhausting as he gets more confudes or overstrained and messes up things at work but as he has a god complex, he never makes errors, it's always me to blame. Even when he (as usual) tells only part of what I would need to know and then the work is not done because nobody knew what exactly to do. And these little thing keep adding up and the "good" things happening are not lasting enough or strong enough to keep me up. Sucks...

I have seen some of the fine people here on SG doing this "challenge" of their favourite photo... and it made me think which of the photos of myself I might like the most. Well... at the moment this one here is what would also suit me best.

This photo is originally intended to be used to promote me as a wrestler (not sure if
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bookcouple:
I like this, thanks for sharing

I have many nice (maybe even beautiful?) things others don't have. I have a nice, big car, I live in a pretty cool house which is sort of mine (just have to pay it off to my dad, for something like my whole life?), I have two dogs and three cats and I can not complain about what I have in my house. It's nice...
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chroi:
sorry to hear you feel this way x
bookcouple:
I’m sorry to hear that
7

So, apparently I am a hopeless romantic and a somewhat hopeless case in life. But sometimes I tend to find something that gives me joy or makes me feel good. And yesterday I saw something that gave me a good feeling. It was the Anime called "your name.".

I don't like every anime that is entitled as womderful or great... but this one had me...
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8

I would love to see you every day,
but you're just way too far away,
it's just a dream in my twisted mind,
that you could love one of my kind.
A wish, more a thought driving me wild,
ever since I wanted to be loved as a child...
Now I know, I don't deserve good treatment.
I know I am too weird and too...
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