Hello SG land. Hope everyone is doing well. I am in need of some solid advice. I have been in a relationship for 16 years and married for 10 years. My wife was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder - bipolar type when she was around 13 or 14. I met her when she was 24. She was hospitalized due to this illness within a few months of us meeting. I loved her and cared for her, so I decided to continue to be by her side. Flash forward to the present and 9 hospitalizations later, things have gotten tremendously worse. The worst probably being that while I was at work one day last year when she wasn't doing her best, the cops show up and take me to the station for what ended up being close to 12 hours of questioning and investigations because she called 911 and claimed I raped her the day before. She went to the ER and did not allow them to run tests or submit anything, so without evidence, the case was dropped. I never in my life would ever lay a hand on my wife or any female in any disrespectful way. She told me that she wanted a divorce for her varying reasons about a month ago. I had been noticing some of her symptoms presenting recently and thought she was just starting that phase again. So I packed up some stuff to keep the peace, because she has gotten violent in the past. Presently she has told me she wants to be with other people sexualy, she has gone on dates with at least 2 guys I know of, and has been talking to someone else on the internet. As of 8-10-26 there has been no official separation or divorce filings and no lawyers have been involved. I love her with all my heart and soul and would never dream of leaving her, but it has gotten to a point where the mental anguish and emotional suffering has become unbearable. I know it says in sickness and in health til death do us part...but when do I need to start looking out for my own wellbeing? Her illness just keeps getting worse and worse. I'm officially at my breaking point...đź’” Any help, suggestions, advice, or anything would help greatly. Sorry for such a long post...
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skisby:
Sorry to read this, it’s a tough road to be on. It’s hard to differentiate the woman you love from the symptoms of her illness but it sounds like you’ve given your all, 12 hour police interrogation would’ve been where I quit! If you’ve tried the treatment options & she’s asking for a divorce, I think it’s time. 🍀
adam_bovary:
Some sage advice above. I know its tough to leave somebody, especially if their down but you do no one any good by staying in this marriage and loose your sanity too. She made the first move by dating other men. Your move should be: You leave