mido

I cant do this. keep saying in my head "trish cant be daed!" no no no no! that is whe way her sister told me " are you saitting down? trish is dead." peter and trish cant be dead, not both of them! not when all I wanted to do was die back in high skool, not when I have done everything in my power at some points to be totally self destrictive and they are gone and I am here. I think of all the seconds that trish wont have, I think of all the stuff she wont get to do.
The clock starts over from here. everything now is a first.
I cant fucking do this, not without her.
I know that sounds selfish but I know she would say the same about me or anyone of the people she loved/ loves. fuck you past tense!