mexicant

This is how I've been feeling lately. Sorry I haven't posted in a while but things are just odd around here. Mainly in my head, but still enough to stop me from writing anything down. I've been having more manic episodes lately and, as we all know, that leads to more super depressed moments. I've been trying to get in touch with my doctor to change my medication levels but he's not returning my calls for some reason. I don't know... things have just been odd.

My little brother shattered his elbow last week. He has three pins in it and a cast around it. It really hurts me to see someone so young hve to be in that situation. I guess it really is his own fault though. He was stage diving off of his drum set and landed on his elbow. He didn't cry when he did it, during the surgery, after the surgery, or even now. Lord knows he's a lot stronger than any of us would have been. My mother was crying hysterically when it happened and my stepdad looked like he might actually cry too. He's an ex-Marine though so I think he held it in.

My girlfriend got he license back this week too. She can drive whenever she wants now without havign to ask me for a ride. For those of you that don't remember, she had it revoked for two years after her second DUI under eighteen. She finally got it back and drove to work alone today. She left me at home so I could sleep. This whole thing is going to drive me crazy though. Now that I know she can drive, what's to stop her from driving around and finding someone better than me? I know how hard it is to live with someone that has as many mental issues as me and I know it can get tiring.

She mentioned wanting kids once. I'm not sure if that would be a good idea or not. I'd hate to make anyone else go through the kind of mental anguish I did/am going through. I mean... I almost broke down crying last night because I couldn't find my last BlowPop.

...boys aren't supposed to be like this.