my reproductive system is glaring at your reproductive system with no small amount of fury. here is a fun-for-the-whole-family list of things that are driving me mad today. I will not be offended if you do not read it.
ONWARD CAME THE VENTING.
emoticons. I fucking hate emoticons. okay, the emoticon is not inherently evil as such, but god damn in shitass fucking hell. they are so overused. sometimes they are necessary, like when you are being sarcastic and the reader may not be able to tell. come to think of it, the rolling-eyes emoticon could probably have saved me from many an awkward silence over the last few weeks. OH WELL I STILL HATE THEM.
my job. I'm an office assistant at the physical plant at my school. this means I answer phone calls from dickwad professors who need nails put in their walls ASAP, or who have discovered mice eating their chocolates, or who are afraid that the plaster in the learning center has ceased to be aesthetically pleasing. I answer their calls in a polite and efficient manner, and I process work orders so the gruff sexist bastards who do all the manual labor on campus can do the work, complain to me, and call me stupid nicknames that completely belie my misanthropic nature. derrrgh.
the main complaint about work today is thus: there were no classes today, so I intended not to go to work. driving all that distance just to work for 2 hours seemed silly. weeelll, they didn't let me have the day off. so on my day that is otherwise completely free of responsibility, I still had to drive up to school and work for two mind-numbing hours. what really pisses me off is that Thursday afternoons are the absolute most deathlike times you can imagine on campus. you really don't need someone manning the physical plant phone from 3-5 p.m. on a Thursday. it is just not necessary. I spent the whole two hours doing crosswords and wishing death upon my boss, who is so similar to Bill Lumbergh it frightens me.
traffic. if you know one thing about me, know that driving makes me happy. traffic, however, voids my soul. this is part of what pissed me off so much about having to work today. getting off at 5:00 means hitting the worst kind of rush hour traffic, not to mention the road work they are doing on Snelling that causes traffic to back up ten thousand miles during normal non-rushy times. this afternoon the 20-mile drive took nearly an hour, during which time I repeatedly dissociated and was physically absorbed into the Cornershop I was listening to.
research papers. the only thing I am good at school-wise is writing papers, but I hate research papers. I hate documentation. but more importantly, I hate rough drafts of said research papers that are due tomorrow. rough drafts irritate me on so many levels, one of them being that my peers have to read my crap and comment on it. the last time this happened, this horrid pseudo-intellectual wench told me I needed to "believe in myself" and "have more faith in my ideas!!" I cannot take advice from robotic idiots whose butt cracks always show. she said my paper turned her off because of its cynical tone, but yeah bitch, I ended up getting an emphatic A. I always do. smirk.
my dad. Dad and I have had problems from the onset of puberty. he read my diary in 7th grade and things have been fucked up ever since. he's a big messy hypocrite and I love him to death but I cannot be alone in a house with him. it's just the noise factor. he is the noisiest person I have ever known. and he leaves peanut butter dollops all over the kitchen. and countless other messes. urgh. I live in filth, okay, my room is full of disorganization and dead things, but I believe in a clean kitchen. and a free Tibet. but that is beside the point.
the FDA. they're all like, wheeeeee if you've had gay sex at any point over the last 5 years you cannot donate sperm because we don't want to pass your dirty homo genes down to the next generation. ostensibly it is due to a higher HIV risk, but uh, dude, that theory does not pan out. what about all the millions of supposedly upstanding straight men who consort with HIV-positive hookers? their sperm is ok? but the sperm of a man in a monogamous, safe sexual relationship with another man.. is.. tainted? with faggotry, I suppose? I am at a loss.
ok, I have a few other things to say about the FDA, but they're not on my mind right now. save it for a raaainy daaay.
The Ex. a few days ago I blew up at him for the last time. we just have fundamental communication issues, and he is too genuinely nice and spineless and bland. oh, the screaming there was and the utter apathy there now is. he is just being too much like he's always been and it is probably my fault that it makes me want to kill people.
here comes the friend-ship I feel like I have sprouted weird cartilaginous growths around all my friendships. I'm having a rough time communicating with my friends, real or internettish. I miss having people around on a regular basis, and I miss the great conversations I used to be able to have with other rational beings who now regard me with something even less than apathy. I may or may not be retreating to an unknown cave to meditate by myself this fucking weekend. it's not like anyone will want to see me anyway. -emo emo-
ooh, lost a fingernail. that's leprosy for you.
my capitalistic enterprises, part 248947. I spent $40-something today. gas, food, random crap, and some tongs for my mom. her tongs disappeared, so I got her some new ones. they are very fancy. they lock into various tongy action poses to suit all your food-picking-up needs. beh. my point is, I can't fucking believe how much money I have spent on myself in the last couple months, all the t-shirts and boots and dvds.. somehow the tongs were supposed to be a redemption, an assertion that it's really not all about me right? but they only perpetuated the gross capitalism of it all.
tongs are empty of inherent existence.
the computer. whereas I am throwing all my money into The Machine That Is Big Business, I am spending all my damn time on the computer. HELLOOOO there are essays to be written and presentations to be planned. my eyes are melting from staring at the computer screen so much. I just got new glasses 9 months ago and already my vision is changing so much that I will probably need new glasses again this summer. yay! this equals spending more money. it's the circle of life.
speaking of which, I'm gonna fucking eat my epidermis if I sit here for one more minute. bleed, uterus, just, motherfucking bleed. my uterus is to blame for at least 12% of my anger, but a significant portion of my rage is undeniably non-hormonal. OKAY? I'M GONNA GO EAT SALT AND CHOCOLATE NOW.
ONWARD CAME THE VENTING.
emoticons. I fucking hate emoticons. okay, the emoticon is not inherently evil as such, but god damn in shitass fucking hell. they are so overused. sometimes they are necessary, like when you are being sarcastic and the reader may not be able to tell. come to think of it, the rolling-eyes emoticon could probably have saved me from many an awkward silence over the last few weeks. OH WELL I STILL HATE THEM.
my job. I'm an office assistant at the physical plant at my school. this means I answer phone calls from dickwad professors who need nails put in their walls ASAP, or who have discovered mice eating their chocolates, or who are afraid that the plaster in the learning center has ceased to be aesthetically pleasing. I answer their calls in a polite and efficient manner, and I process work orders so the gruff sexist bastards who do all the manual labor on campus can do the work, complain to me, and call me stupid nicknames that completely belie my misanthropic nature. derrrgh.
the main complaint about work today is thus: there were no classes today, so I intended not to go to work. driving all that distance just to work for 2 hours seemed silly. weeelll, they didn't let me have the day off. so on my day that is otherwise completely free of responsibility, I still had to drive up to school and work for two mind-numbing hours. what really pisses me off is that Thursday afternoons are the absolute most deathlike times you can imagine on campus. you really don't need someone manning the physical plant phone from 3-5 p.m. on a Thursday. it is just not necessary. I spent the whole two hours doing crosswords and wishing death upon my boss, who is so similar to Bill Lumbergh it frightens me.
traffic. if you know one thing about me, know that driving makes me happy. traffic, however, voids my soul. this is part of what pissed me off so much about having to work today. getting off at 5:00 means hitting the worst kind of rush hour traffic, not to mention the road work they are doing on Snelling that causes traffic to back up ten thousand miles during normal non-rushy times. this afternoon the 20-mile drive took nearly an hour, during which time I repeatedly dissociated and was physically absorbed into the Cornershop I was listening to.
research papers. the only thing I am good at school-wise is writing papers, but I hate research papers. I hate documentation. but more importantly, I hate rough drafts of said research papers that are due tomorrow. rough drafts irritate me on so many levels, one of them being that my peers have to read my crap and comment on it. the last time this happened, this horrid pseudo-intellectual wench told me I needed to "believe in myself" and "have more faith in my ideas!!" I cannot take advice from robotic idiots whose butt cracks always show. she said my paper turned her off because of its cynical tone, but yeah bitch, I ended up getting an emphatic A. I always do. smirk.
my dad. Dad and I have had problems from the onset of puberty. he read my diary in 7th grade and things have been fucked up ever since. he's a big messy hypocrite and I love him to death but I cannot be alone in a house with him. it's just the noise factor. he is the noisiest person I have ever known. and he leaves peanut butter dollops all over the kitchen. and countless other messes. urgh. I live in filth, okay, my room is full of disorganization and dead things, but I believe in a clean kitchen. and a free Tibet. but that is beside the point.
the FDA. they're all like, wheeeeee if you've had gay sex at any point over the last 5 years you cannot donate sperm because we don't want to pass your dirty homo genes down to the next generation. ostensibly it is due to a higher HIV risk, but uh, dude, that theory does not pan out. what about all the millions of supposedly upstanding straight men who consort with HIV-positive hookers? their sperm is ok? but the sperm of a man in a monogamous, safe sexual relationship with another man.. is.. tainted? with faggotry, I suppose? I am at a loss.
ok, I have a few other things to say about the FDA, but they're not on my mind right now. save it for a raaainy daaay.
The Ex. a few days ago I blew up at him for the last time. we just have fundamental communication issues, and he is too genuinely nice and spineless and bland. oh, the screaming there was and the utter apathy there now is. he is just being too much like he's always been and it is probably my fault that it makes me want to kill people.
here comes the friend-ship I feel like I have sprouted weird cartilaginous growths around all my friendships. I'm having a rough time communicating with my friends, real or internettish. I miss having people around on a regular basis, and I miss the great conversations I used to be able to have with other rational beings who now regard me with something even less than apathy. I may or may not be retreating to an unknown cave to meditate by myself this fucking weekend. it's not like anyone will want to see me anyway. -emo emo-
ooh, lost a fingernail. that's leprosy for you.
my capitalistic enterprises, part 248947. I spent $40-something today. gas, food, random crap, and some tongs for my mom. her tongs disappeared, so I got her some new ones. they are very fancy. they lock into various tongy action poses to suit all your food-picking-up needs. beh. my point is, I can't fucking believe how much money I have spent on myself in the last couple months, all the t-shirts and boots and dvds.. somehow the tongs were supposed to be a redemption, an assertion that it's really not all about me right? but they only perpetuated the gross capitalism of it all.
tongs are empty of inherent existence.
the computer. whereas I am throwing all my money into The Machine That Is Big Business, I am spending all my damn time on the computer. HELLOOOO there are essays to be written and presentations to be planned. my eyes are melting from staring at the computer screen so much. I just got new glasses 9 months ago and already my vision is changing so much that I will probably need new glasses again this summer. yay! this equals spending more money. it's the circle of life.
speaking of which, I'm gonna fucking eat my epidermis if I sit here for one more minute. bleed, uterus, just, motherfucking bleed. my uterus is to blame for at least 12% of my anger, but a significant portion of my rage is undeniably non-hormonal. OKAY? I'M GONNA GO EAT SALT AND CHOCOLATE NOW.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Critters is a good movie.
I totally felt you up during that hug...