I don't know what the last straw was but someone's taken my red Swingline stapler and now I'm burning the place down.
I drove a fucking truck for the first time today and it was to move someone else's flaming asshole couch. his flaming asshole, wicker, BROKEN couch that he loves so fucking much he needs me to drive in the rush-hour-iest of traffic to move it to a storage facility. in a truck! a truck.
I don't know what the last straw was but I am grinding my teeth, you ruined my afternoon, I don't know, but what I'm really angry about is something I cannot define. something about how I don't know how to be with people anymore. something about how I don't know how to use words anymore. I wish I could just touch you and you would know.
I used to feel like I could talk to people but this has dissipated over the last couple months. people are assholes, you know? I have not known a lot of people who have understood me. yesterday one of them completely ceased to understand me, but our connection had really been crumbling over the last few months anyway. yesterday was IT and today I moved his couch.
so up until recently there were a few people I felt like I could talk to but today there are exactly zero because I am a bitter old hag, inscrutable and vain. yeeeeeeehaw.
I turn to rage too easily. there should be a Lifetime movie about me.
I scream at The Ex, and he thinks he can still rub my back when I am hating him, and he is completely, just, COMPLETELY without spine and I think that was the end of us. I've been trying to locate the exact point where I realized that we could not be good for each other, but there are just so many, all having to do with how fucking spineless and oversensitive and suburban he is.
and me? I'm just a bitch.
I'm trying to figure out who in fuckwit blah kaboom I am, and I really don't think it's this. this has just brought out all kinds of Shitty McShit in me and there is only one person to whom I want to offer up an apology but I am nothing to this person anyway. so yeah. glorious fantastic lord on high.
I'm fucking absolutely done censoring myself and restraining myself and I know that's not true but I want it to be. fuck fuck fuckingly fuck. six days left of school, two presentations, a paper, and a test, and thus ensues the shittiest summer imaginable, unless something fucking breaks.
I drove a fucking truck for the first time today and it was to move someone else's flaming asshole couch. his flaming asshole, wicker, BROKEN couch that he loves so fucking much he needs me to drive in the rush-hour-iest of traffic to move it to a storage facility. in a truck! a truck.
I don't know what the last straw was but I am grinding my teeth, you ruined my afternoon, I don't know, but what I'm really angry about is something I cannot define. something about how I don't know how to be with people anymore. something about how I don't know how to use words anymore. I wish I could just touch you and you would know.
I used to feel like I could talk to people but this has dissipated over the last couple months. people are assholes, you know? I have not known a lot of people who have understood me. yesterday one of them completely ceased to understand me, but our connection had really been crumbling over the last few months anyway. yesterday was IT and today I moved his couch.
so up until recently there were a few people I felt like I could talk to but today there are exactly zero because I am a bitter old hag, inscrutable and vain. yeeeeeeehaw.
I turn to rage too easily. there should be a Lifetime movie about me.
I scream at The Ex, and he thinks he can still rub my back when I am hating him, and he is completely, just, COMPLETELY without spine and I think that was the end of us. I've been trying to locate the exact point where I realized that we could not be good for each other, but there are just so many, all having to do with how fucking spineless and oversensitive and suburban he is.
and me? I'm just a bitch.
I'm trying to figure out who in fuckwit blah kaboom I am, and I really don't think it's this. this has just brought out all kinds of Shitty McShit in me and there is only one person to whom I want to offer up an apology but I am nothing to this person anyway. so yeah. glorious fantastic lord on high.
I'm fucking absolutely done censoring myself and restraining myself and I know that's not true but I want it to be. fuck fuck fuckingly fuck. six days left of school, two presentations, a paper, and a test, and thus ensues the shittiest summer imaginable, unless something fucking breaks.