I have half a bowl of hash browns for you, soggy and oversalted. I have this lingering sense of hysteria just below the surface.
I don't want to be worried about and I don't want to be clung to. I want to exist and I want that to be enough.
Justin thinks things are starting to balance out because he's kissing someone else. he's okay because he doesn't know. lately I feel like he should break up with me, who fucking cares if it's my fault, because I'm bored I'm BORED I'M fucking crazily bored with him and he needs me.
he has been the center of my fucking universe for half a decade but lately things have shifted and for the first time in my life I am sick of him. I am not challenged by him, I don't miss him when he's gone. maybe because he's been so needy or maybe I've just realized a thing or two.
and in realizing things, I have completely lost track of who or what I am.
I need to leave. everything needs to be gone. everything but bones and oxygen and the ability to be. fucking destroy me, I don't care, I need to be somewhere else. you-are-not-enough-right-now. and I don't know if I am capable of sorting things out anymore because I've forgotten what we are. I tell you I love you to reassure you but lately I don't even fucking know. things are hollowed out. I'm lost. I'm gone.
I don't want to be worried about and I don't want to be clung to. I want to exist and I want that to be enough.
Justin thinks things are starting to balance out because he's kissing someone else. he's okay because he doesn't know. lately I feel like he should break up with me, who fucking cares if it's my fault, because I'm bored I'm BORED I'M fucking crazily bored with him and he needs me.
he has been the center of my fucking universe for half a decade but lately things have shifted and for the first time in my life I am sick of him. I am not challenged by him, I don't miss him when he's gone. maybe because he's been so needy or maybe I've just realized a thing or two.
and in realizing things, I have completely lost track of who or what I am.
I need to leave. everything needs to be gone. everything but bones and oxygen and the ability to be. fucking destroy me, I don't care, I need to be somewhere else. you-are-not-enough-right-now. and I don't know if I am capable of sorting things out anymore because I've forgotten what we are. I tell you I love you to reassure you but lately I don't even fucking know. things are hollowed out. I'm lost. I'm gone.
alyk:
hmm...do you think there's a possibilty that you're just not in love with him anymore? I know it's hard because you still love him and care about him, but it seems to me that this is taking too much of an emotional toll on you...Is breaking up with him out of the question? 