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mephrael

9th Deep, Khazad Dum

Member Since 2015

Followers 32 Following 68

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Have you ever stared at a blank page for so long.....

May 19, 2016
10
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..... that it seems like it was almost staring back at you?

There are so many thoughts in my head that would probably benefit from being written down, but there's something in there that is auditing my thoughts before they hit the page. I sit and think about what I want to say and that spiteful little voice whispers "That's what you want to say?" or "Seriously, that makes no sense".

There's a temptation to follow that thought, to work out why I'm self-censoring to this degree, but I'm old enough and wise enough to (at least most of the time) recognise that chasing the rabbit is a bad idea.

I want to communicate with all of you awesome people, and I know being active and engaging is the way to feel more connected, but I haven't quite worked out how to shut down the rogue thought yet. This dichotomy of feeling isolated but wanting to avoid interaction.

I'm not completely sure why I wrote all this besides wanting to convey the idea that I'm still alive, and furthermore that while I'm not in the world's best headspace, I'm still on my feet. Well.. more or less :P

Stay awesome you amazing people, I'll just be lurking in the corner.

hellfyre420:
You are and always will be your own worst critic. Even your blogs are interesting to read. I'm not going to tell you to just come out of your shell because that would be wrong of me. What I will say is that your SG friends are very accepting people and I'm sure we'd really enjoy reading your thoughts. 
May 25, 2016

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