mentalrage

So I'm going back to work tomorrow which is bugging me a bit. I have a tendency to overanalyse everything to a ridiculous degree so that probably has something to do with it. I end up getting no sleep just because of the anxiety it causes half the time. Working all the lates is starting to piss me off though and I feel like a bastard 'cause my dad has to come and pick me up until/when/if I get this driving business sorted out, which is another thing that's starting to stress me out. How the fuck I'm going to afford a car and insurance on what I get paid I don't know unless I get a ridiculous loan from somewhere which I spend the next 10 years paying off which is something I'm not really wanting to do, I don't know why I'm even thinking about it since I haven't even done any lessons yet but that's just me I guess. I have too much static in my head lately, all the days will start to bleed together once I start at work again just like they always do. I keep thinking I should have achieved something by now what I don't know but putting things on shelves isn't exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life. Everything just seems to keep spiling out of my head like the guts of some animal in the slaughterhouse, just me and my alienation.