menacentiment

I loathe myself sometimes. Not for who I am, but for some of the things that I have done. Or have failed to do. I hate that I seem to have taken some things for granted. That's been too damn big a mistake all-and-all. And it is always things most important.

I loathe phones giving out. I used to revel in the fact that no matter when it was, or where I was - how far away - I had this little device I kept in my pocket that made a certain piece of amazing (well, not a piece, a whole amazing) just a few beeps and clicks away.

I loath now that thanks to many things, I don't have a positive outlook. And to think, just last year nothing could bring me down, 'fore I crashed. I still feel a need to grab a shoulder and cry. I haven't in a long time. And the only shoulder I need is elsewise. The only one that does any good.

I also loathe burritos frozen too solid to nuke easily. It'll probably give me cancer.

I should sleep early tonight. I don't look forward to the morning, but maybe I'll have more dreams of emralds and fire. Warmth, beauty.

For anyone who knows me, those words speak more than they are themselves. Volumes.



Some days it seems like it I could have some sort of valve on my head, to release extra pressure, that many of the things that upset me just, well, wouldn't have the same impact. As it is, it would be kind of disabling to have such a thing installed. So ventilation must rely on more utilitarian methods. Sadly most of those suck.

I wish I had something to actually write about.

Oh, I did have a dream, though. There were monsterous badgers with puffs on the ends of these long tails they had and they were terrorizing the countryside. That was weird.