mei

Hey, I just started hanging around here, and I like it. There is something that resonates for me in your reflections. And also you had totoro as 1 of your fave movies. That hooked me.
CATBUS!!!!!!!

Hey Mei
I try to read all your journal entries, but lately I've been kicking back up into 14 hr work day mode so I often have no words to share back. I do really love the poetry of your story. You create alot of empathy with your writing. I'm always wishing you all things good and hope deeply that you can find a way to make a living that, if it isn't totally uplifting (cause what job is...), at least pays your bills without leaving you depressed and without keeping you inside for too long...

OneBigLove.... A. Electric

I would recommend you look into photography, just from your descriptions the way you word things i feel like you could see things through a lense, you have the eye of the artist of this i have no doubt and you can certainly bring that to the fore in your writing, but i would bet that isnt the only place and the great thing about photography is it is so immediate especially if you use a digital camera or a polaroid(i lovee mine) photographs can instantly capture these vignettes that you capture in your writing also. just food for thought....

wow, what writing! i was ready for a description of your afternoon from the chair's perspective (blush)--no really, like in "Our Mutual Friend". have you read any Dickens? a dinner party described by a mirror and a table....

Keep writing. And please consider doing another set.

I love your writing style, very easy not forced at all. A beautiful girl thats smart and can write, I think im in love. i just posted a section from my book i've been working on forever on my page, please read it if you get a moment. take care.

sounds lovely. Good luck with the job hunt! I added you as a friend so I can see your journal updates, bcse I enjoy reading them, I hope you don't mind.

Happy to see a cheery Mei entry.

Definitely, jobs = money = things you want to do that you can't do without it = good.

Religion ain't nuthin' but bad things done for all the right reasons.

And, what're you feeling guilty of, about, or regarding? You can tell me. Instant forgiveness and absolution over here.

I used to live in this place in Downtown Cincy that was a bi-level loft with huge high celings. It was a groovy place that was fairly impressive... but yea; I felt all insecure at night sleeping in such a large place. Everytime I'd move at night I could hear an echo of myself shifting. Now I live in a one-bedroom above a bakery and I LOVE it. Just barely enough room for me and my piano.

Thanks for the comment. Thesis eh? I'd be interested in reading that... I have no doubt in my mind about the power of the spoken word, just happens that I don't have a mastery of that particular art. If that's something that interests you, and you've read Diamond Age, the surely you must've read Snow Crash too... If not, it's right up your alley. One of the main themes is neurolinguistic "hacking," if you will...

Anyhow, sounds like you've got your hands full... There's a lot of world out there to take in, just have to pace yourself. I know what it is to need to *feel* things, to not know the meaning of "overstimulation," but ultimately it can burn you out. Take a breath, smell the roses.

-Trevor

In a place long lost in the mists of memory there was a city where dwelt the people of dreams. These people were apart from the rest of men and were sometimes looked upon with anger and fear by others. The people of dreams were different because of how they chose to look, each was different from the other but all seemed similar. They celebrated life and the gifts of the gods by living free and choosing new paths others were afraid of. It was courage and freedom that took them to new places, they were not afraid of what others would say or think, it mattered most what lay in their own hearts and that they were true to it.

In this city there was a child named Joone, she and her sisters would play in the fields all the summer months and in the winter they would study to learn more of the world in which they resided. Now one season as they ran in the woods they came upon a strange band of people, seemingly lost and afraid. Joone and her sisters took these poor folks in hand and led them to the city but no sooner had they done so than the men drew long bits of sharp iron and steel and began to chase the inhabitants and slew a great many of them until they themselves were slain.
The dream people had lived in peace for so long that they no longer remembered the ways of war and many good people lay dead at the hands of these killers. There was fear now that others would find them and more deaths would fall upon the city, so scouts were sent out into the forests in all directions to warn of the coming of men.

Joone and her sisters were spared from the slaughter but many friends and loved ones were lost so they swore to do something. Each sister went in a different direction with a pack upon their back and they travelled the lands spreading tales of the good and evil of men and the lore of the earth. Each teaching men to find in their hearts the tie that binds all things and cherish it.

Many were the tales of them and others followed out of the dream city each with new gifts to keep men at bay and protect their home. Sons and daughters of the dream people made homes in the world of men and would, in small ways and sometimes in large, lead men into new paths they feared but must travel. Sometimes they would not listen and the dark heart of men would close and tear the world apart only to be led back again to relearn all the knowledge they had thrown aside. It was a long and tedius struggle as each step seemed small and hard fought for but it was still a step forward and that to the children of dream was worth the fight.

In time the children lost themselves in the world of men and the way home to the city, sometimes they would learn of the death of a friend who men had taken to stop change. Men feared change as much as the children loved to embrace it and still do. The children fought to bring peace to the world so they could start the search for home, they had many tools in this fight but the greatest came from within. All the children had a gift and Joone and her sisters were each blessed with a different ability; Joone could tell stories so vivid and alive, her sister Apryl could sing and stir hearts and minds, and Mei, young Mei could write the soul of the world into being.

Their spirit exsists today in the hearts of their children, hidden in the folds of humanity, the lost children of the dream people.

i like to put my legs against the walls on hot days, its always so cooling. but i dont like my feet.
yay for doggies! akitas are awesome dogs. my friend has one named fuji, he looks like a big fluffy bear but barks like he is going to eat you alive.
new mei set...woohoo!

oooh! i can't wait for the new set Mei. I know it'll be gorgeous, because anything you do is.

I think this story will be funny to you not that long from now.
From all that you've described it seems like what I'd call a "crap job".
I did basically the same thing that you did once.

I was working at a florist as a delivery driver. It was pretty low pay, but I was desperate for money.
At the same time I was also going to community college full time so it was a real drag.
Anyway, the boss was some old guy that was a dick. His wife worked there too and she was a total bitch. Most of the other people there were kind of miserable and wierd in some way. I think most of them were on crystal meth half the time. There was a wierd secret meth group kind of vibe there. There was a really bitchy gay "floral manager" that all the drivers hated. At first he hit on me, and then later he was really nasty.
There was always some stupid drama going around,and the work itself was sometimes stressful.

Well, one day I happened to go to a Grateful Dead concert (this was a way back). The drive up there was more fun than the show but still good.
It was a daytime outdoor show. Being on shrooms I got seperated from my friend and wandered back to the car when I kind of freaked out.

I came back to my car and sat on the sidewalk still shrooming and sitting in the Sunday afternoon sun.
I remember sitting next to my red Ford Falacon. I remember an old mexican man me eyeing me suspiciously. I remember the grass by the sidewalk and the gutter and looking at the sky. I remember thinking to myself, "I do not want to go to back there, to where I work." It seemed absurd that with all the places you could go and things you could do, to repeatedly do the same thing like a robot, especially when you hated it.

The next monday I decided I just didn't want to go to work. I didn't feel like calling in either. I didn't even feel like worrying about it. So, I just didn't ever go back.
After working there for about four months I just simply stopped showing up. I didn't tell anyone there; gave no explanation. It was as simple as that.
And it felt great. That job sucked. It was a relief.

That was a "crap job" though. You just have to realize that there a numerous ways you can make low money in a miserable way. You have to realize that having a college degree puts in an entirely different category if you take advantage of it.
Before and after I graduated there was a big difference between how many jobs I had and for how long. In the last ten years I'm at my fourth workplace. As opposed to the dozen or so jobs I would only stay at for a couple of months at a time before.

The point, I would say, is if you are college educated is to think in terms of "career" instead of "job".
Think about what you would like your trade or profession to be.
Maybe you have no idea, or it's something that seems totally unattainable.
In that case start looking around like crazy for a place that you at least would like to work at now for its own sake, or find a job that could lead you to whatever final stage you'd like to attain to.

Counselor Obadiah

(sorry about the long comment! )

[Edited on Jul 17, 2003]

Remember, its just a job, they may be hard to come by, but happiness is more important than anything. Good luck with your choices.

I think you need an outlet, I haven't been doing yoga or dancing lately and I'm finding myself really aggressive and snappy at people and a lot more emotionally all over the place. Do something really physical to get your head outa the way but still keep looking for another job.
Hope you get some rest.

The goal of being young, really, should just be to make it out alive. If you accomplish this much, you've managed a tremendously more than perhaps you realize.

It's this mantra that kept me going through some of the darker chapters of my life, most of which were written shortly after finishing college.

Being well-educated and well-read, I realized quickly that I wasn't at all qualified for the demoralization of real life. A temp job at data entry wasn't what I'd expected, a job I'd only landed because I knew 10-key from playing so many damn video games.

You contemplate and look inward at all that you hate because you know you're capable of so much more. After all, the world should be your oyster!

Real life has a way of kicking that thought out of your head.

But take your burden and move forward, being grateful each day of even having the chance to fall, to fail, and hopefully to learn. Regardless of where this takes you, you've been blessed just by having that chance.

the words celexa, paxil, prozac the vernacular of expression
a pharmaceutical industry will make billions in this depression
a parade in comfortable shoes life's too short i'll take a pill
don't worry be happy it's not a procession up boot hill

were you at dantes last night?

I need a bit more outside myself, and probably a bit more tanning too. lol.

have fun out at the island.

Yay for substitute teachers, too. I mean trainers.

I had a rule that I wouldn't change my journal entry until you stopped by (or left some evidence that you had), but then I gave it up because I didn't want the entries to get stale. This is as close as you'll hear me get to whining.

Hope your weekend is going well!