I'm back. Had to move stuff around for the painters, and just decided to leave my computer unplugged for a week. I got soooooooo much work done.
In other news, I had what I think was a date last night. Or whatever you call it when an 18 year old who you've been making eyes at all night asks you if you want to go to a titty bar. And then you go. And then she pays for a lap dance for you. And then, at the end of the night, as you're dropping her off at her car, she completely inexplicably (because, from where I was standing, things were going exceptionally well and there was definitely make-out potential) sticks her hand out at you, and the autonomous politeness part of your brain takes over and shakes the proffered hand while your cerebral cortex looks on in shock and dismay and general "what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-you-complete-fucktard-you"-ness. And then you go home and mentally punch yourself in the teeth over and over and over again and then masturbate and then start with the self-abuse again. And oh yeah, the state of shock you were in made you completely forget to get her number, just to top it all off.
That's a date, right?
In other news, I had what I think was a date last night. Or whatever you call it when an 18 year old who you've been making eyes at all night asks you if you want to go to a titty bar. And then you go. And then she pays for a lap dance for you. And then, at the end of the night, as you're dropping her off at her car, she completely inexplicably (because, from where I was standing, things were going exceptionally well and there was definitely make-out potential) sticks her hand out at you, and the autonomous politeness part of your brain takes over and shakes the proffered hand while your cerebral cortex looks on in shock and dismay and general "what-the-fuck-are-you-doing-you-complete-fucktard-you"-ness. And then you go home and mentally punch yourself in the teeth over and over and over again and then masturbate and then start with the self-abuse again. And oh yeah, the state of shock you were in made you completely forget to get her number, just to top it all off.
That's a date, right?
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
i mean, c'mon--who's going to believe that you met a contradictory, sexually maddening she-demon? what? a girl who confuses and frustrates you. pfft.
if only you would have self-fellated with your jagged, broken teeth, the tale would have been fulfilling and genuine.
humpy motherfucking valentine's day
[Edited on Feb 14, 2003]
Works like a charm.