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medicstudent

Ontario, Canada.

Member Since 2011

Followers 226 Following 408

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Thursday Jan 19, 2012

Jan 19, 2012
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Starting to think that I should have just thrown the damn TV out rather than being the bigger person about seeing if my ex wanted it returned or not. Seriously I'm all for 'remaining friends' after a break up and being adult about things but it's been six months, I've managed to get over the 11 years, have one meaningless sex only relationship (which is still ongoing) and actually have a REAL date on Monday with someone that seems like a possible exclusive relationship. Why then when I've stated all but the date to her does she still think there is a hope in hell that we will reunite and be the happy couple that we hadn't been for almost 2 years?
Now for obvious reasons her text alert is an air raid siren, and call alert is the Red Alert from Star Trek. Yeah because whenever she calls/texts it's red alert time. So I'm woken up to air raid sirens this morning, hungover because I did some karaoke last night and the question is "are you busy?" It's 5 in the fucking morning yeah I'm busy sleeping!!!!!! But of course I reply much nicer than that, "not overly" so can we talk? I need a friend. and before I can reply I just woke up and give me a few hours the damn phone shrills out Red Alert. Fucking A!
I will admit that I can be a douche bag like everyone else but I ansewered the phone, and what do I get? A long uninterupted monolouge of how she is sorry and made a mistake, and blubber blubber cry cry. Not to sound completely unsympathetic but fuck REALLY? Where was this when it may have (emphisis on MAY) made a difference? Why wait until now? Why send my son a friend request on Facebook when you broke his heart almost as much as mine? Why even bother calling when you know I'm moving on with my life? Planning to go back to college or failing that re-enlist in the military?
Thats right because it kills you that after six months I DON'T CARE.
If it had ended at that call it would have been fine but it didn't. No, unfortunetly there was a tragedy in Canadian sports, one of our champion X-Games skiiers died of her injuries sustained in practice her cell phone was giving her trouble, and she knew I had to go out when the roads looked like this.


I want to be a nice guy about this, I want to be friends and be able to have conversations where I know she isn't interrogating me to see what her chances are of getting back together. I would hate that after 11 years we are unable to remain civil to each other. However I feel that I may have to take the low road. I'm afraid that I will have to be mean, evil, possibly do things that are not me in order to get the point across that we are over ruining any chance of civility in the future.
I'm afraid that I will have to make her hate me in order to move on and I'm not sure I like that too much. She isn't always stable and one of the reasons things lasted as long as they did is I was I didn't want to push her over the edge to suicide attempt #5 and without me there actually be sucessful; her mother isn't exactly on the ball.
I'll have to discuss things with her sister, at least I can talk to her, she married my best friend and I won them in the divorce smile

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