mcsweeney

Details, details details. Why are people always asking me about the details? I think I'd rather have this bottle infront of me, than a frontal lobotomy. Why is it always about the details?

It's one of those days that starts out when you spill your coffee at 5:45 am and never seems to get back under control. Maybe because I spilled it and it never reached my brain. Maybe because the day just wasn't meant to be. Maybe because I just didn't mean it today.

I hate cashing in sick days just so I can stay home and work to try to catch up. It seems like an indication that maybe I'm doing two jobs for the price of one. And don't I feel silly for it. Argh.

I hate the feeling of being in a hole. Unless it is a warm hole. With cookies. And gin. Then it might be ok. But right now I don't like my job. No cookies. No gin. Damn it.

Another sunny weekend day that falls victim to working straight through. I used to love the changing leaves as they fell to the ground. Now the only leaves that I see are the leaves of papers that are left for me, and they don't change no matter how long I leave them.

Perhaps I should quit my job and become a pirate in international waters....
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How is it that working with the "best and the brightest" kids always turns out to be so dissappointing? I'm tired of them crying. Don't they realize that the system is bad, not them? Don't they realize that it is a large corporate meat grinder, but instead of ENRONesque paychecks we give them grades and Advanced Placement credits? Why can't they just trust that I...
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School starts the day after tomorrow. New students, a new class, opening unit in one class was one of my designs. I feel like there is a lot riding on the beginning. How does pressure build like this when you're not looking?

So I've been searching for a lot of ways to distract myself from what is happening around me.

I've taken my stratocaster appart...
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Less than a week left and soon my two month hiatus from work is over. Some parts of me are excited. Some parts of me are just going to struggle to wake up, literally and figuratively. It has been a while since my brain has fully turned gotten good exercise in those particular ways. But paychecks and being in the swing of something will be...
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Just got back from a great trip to NYC. Holly Golightly at the Mercury Lounge on Thursday. Many drinks with a few good friends on Friday. Robert Smithson exhibit at the Whitney and 2046 on Saturday.

But most of all, a chance to just sort of be for a while. A chance to be in a moment instead of being a series of them; instead...
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Another lazy day so far. I can tell just by the way that I've been asking myself what I'll do today. And more by the fact tht I haven't come up with any answers. Everything feels like procrastinating when you have nothing pressing to do. The odd tensions of looking for things to fill time are too similar.

Maybe I'll drink too much coffee and...
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