maxi

Things are slowly getting better and or civil.
We did not part physically, and we are trying to hold on to the good and work through and understand the bad. I feel like a broken record sometimes, i don't see myself as flaky or weak, but i feel like we have come to the edge of breaking up at least 20 times, sometimes i take it stronger than others, this time i was a total wreak, Why is it so hard to look past or accept others short comings. I have very little patience in having people around me whom are just floating by, I insists on not letting life pass me by, i hate when things get mundane and no one cares or notices but me.
I think it has to do a lot with feeling like i wasted time on being sad in past relationships and life, that makes me really hard on this one. My relationship and happiness is so small in the grand scheme of things, Life is just so short, i don't want to waste time with someone whom doesn't show they appreciate me while i am around.
I still believe in being tattooed with Bar Code with an expiration date that say's "I will love you till this date" then when your date is up your not caught off guard, and you could always be up for a review a few months prior to that expiration date to see if your date will be renewed and extended.

I am off to Houston by Noon tomorrow to shoot with Lithium Picnic Phil, and he just had all of his Camera Equip stolen in the airport, Just my luck, Over 5K in merchandise, and no Insurance, Don]'
t even go there, i already put salt in his wound. anyway he says he has a loaner camera, and not to worry, i Feel so helpless for him, He totally doesn't deserve this spoonful of shit in his life.

then Sunday my flight isn't until 6 pm to Vegas for 2 more days, so i booked a spa Appointment in Houston in the day, I really feel like i need it. I travel alone on my shoots, so this time away from Ant will be healthy, he will be a boy and have his boy time, I don't really fret about that when i am away, as long as he remains faithful to me. I don't seem to have a problem concentration on my agenda planned. I am very focused on why i am where i am and what i am there to do, SHOOT! he will be watching the beans for me.
Last night i picked up the beans from My Ex Husband, technically separated for 3 years, not yet legally divorced, and he asked whom was watching the beans while i was away.for the first time ever i said Anthony's name to him, i figured fuck it, i never wanted to put salt in his wounds but it's been 3 years now, grow up and accept it.

So i am in Vegas for 2 days, to shoot with Max V and possibly Michael Rosen. 2 Photographer/Artist that like to use composites and lots of PS with their work.. It's gonna be 93 degrees there, WHoo hoo, hope i don't get burned. the one and only place i need to visit in Vegas is this place called Sugar and Ice, in the Wynn Hotel plaza, it is an upscale Gelato place with pastries, I am going for the gelato of course!

Ok if i am not on this week i will be posting again by Thursday.

OCDF: 85%