"Fuck...is it so damn hard to call me back? Or to pick up the phone when i'm calling? Or....god forbid actually call me yourself?"
--What i'm thinking about my current situation
Insecurities creeping back in.....don't want to think negative thoughts, but it's getting hard not to. If either girl is not interested in me, just let me know and stop this guessing game.
Sigh...i had dreams of Kate all last night and they were good clean fun dreams too. That's how i know i like someone i think...when i don't dream of just fucking them. It's like i don't want to cheapen them in my mind or something ya know. But i'm not getting much positive feedback lately (certainly not one call back in over a week though i did see her once long enough for her to tell me she was busy and couldn't go out with me b/c she was going to the Dave Matthews concert--another reason to hate Dave Matthews) As for Dale...i just want something to work out because i've been alone for tooooooo goddamn long and it's getting to the point where it isn't healthy for me anymore. I realllllly need somebody in my life and if i don't get that soon, i don't know what's gonna happen or what i'll do about it.
On a lighter note....sometimes i can really notice the effects of smoking on my body when i run. My muscles can handle the strain, but not my lungs somettimes (at least i can't breathe as deep as i seem to remember being able to do). I'm glad i've pretty much managed to stop except for five or so smokes that i couldn't resist while drinking during the past four weeks.) Hopefully i can keep it up.
On a lighter, lighter, more fun note....my friend Siarais now a full fledged SG. Spot on ya girlie! Now...if only Kira's set would be shown. Jeeze Louise! It sure can take a long time for this stuff to go through! I guess though, it's a lot harder/longer a wait for the SG than for the fan/friend.
On the lightest of notes....a thumbtack on a post it...think about b/c i'm too tired to .
--What i'm thinking about my current situation
Insecurities creeping back in.....don't want to think negative thoughts, but it's getting hard not to. If either girl is not interested in me, just let me know and stop this guessing game.
Sigh...i had dreams of Kate all last night and they were good clean fun dreams too. That's how i know i like someone i think...when i don't dream of just fucking them. It's like i don't want to cheapen them in my mind or something ya know. But i'm not getting much positive feedback lately (certainly not one call back in over a week though i did see her once long enough for her to tell me she was busy and couldn't go out with me b/c she was going to the Dave Matthews concert--another reason to hate Dave Matthews) As for Dale...i just want something to work out because i've been alone for tooooooo goddamn long and it's getting to the point where it isn't healthy for me anymore. I realllllly need somebody in my life and if i don't get that soon, i don't know what's gonna happen or what i'll do about it.
On a lighter note....sometimes i can really notice the effects of smoking on my body when i run. My muscles can handle the strain, but not my lungs somettimes (at least i can't breathe as deep as i seem to remember being able to do). I'm glad i've pretty much managed to stop except for five or so smokes that i couldn't resist while drinking during the past four weeks.) Hopefully i can keep it up.
On a lighter, lighter, more fun note....my friend Siarais now a full fledged SG. Spot on ya girlie! Now...if only Kira's set would be shown. Jeeze Louise! It sure can take a long time for this stuff to go through! I guess though, it's a lot harder/longer a wait for the SG than for the fan/friend.
On the lightest of notes....a thumbtack on a post it...think about b/c i'm too tired to .
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
thanks for all of the nice things you said about me. i really miss all of you already.
i hope that girlie calls you soon she seemed really nice and super smart, just like you. talk to ya soon.
kira