Maud's first blog post in years
a little message from my heart-
I'll try and keep this blog post somewhat brief and as straight forward as I can. I wanted to put some light on something that has kept me in the shadows for years that I have not been able to shake or talk about until now, even writing this today feels a little odd!
To sum it up, I was traveling, shooting, and working on my Maud empire day in and day out while also juggling a super horrible relationship which ended just as bad, if not worse. I was tired, sad, and severely emotionally beaten down. The seemingly forever burning candle in me went dim I then knew I needed to do something to better my situation and career.
Traveling was a huge escape for me, a breath of fresh air. I got out to new grounds to do what I love to do: shoot. California, Baltimore, Ohio, Chicago, California again, things were going really well. I shot for SG, did a Drake Bell music video (link attached! Fuego Lento - Drake Bell ) and business really started picking up. Of course when I got home, I was walking on egg shells and felt uncomfortable to be there which I ignored as I kept pushing forward, fixated on my newest visions, dreams, and ideas.
As the sets came out I can't help but to pat myself on the back. Going through all that I did at home and seeing me glow in some way is truly magical. The first set is "Old Hollywood" which @floyd beautifully shot at a mansion in the hills of Hollywood previously and originally owned by a silver screen star, just stunning and very haunted by the way, I was so genuinely happy to be there and soaked it all in,
My most recent set "Pipe Dreams" which was shot with @sunshine in Baltimore was entirely unexpected and unplanned! I was there with her working with 420 PinUps/assisting with other SG and Hopeful's sets! The purple dress was just what I simply put on that day which adds a personal Maud touch and I met a new lifelong friend that day! @kitikhaos
Some of my favorite shots:
PIPE DREAMS - Member Review
I am so happy with these sets but can't help but to see the hardships I was going through at the time and all of the great progress that I have made since then- like night and day. A big pat on the butt.. I mean back!
Long story short I found myself in a "perfect situation" after I moved away from the "danger zone" when I stumbled upon an abandoned 1950's firehouse and station soon-to-be bulldozed. I showed interest in the task-daunting house and made it mine! Ripped carpet, cured the hardwood floors, flipped, painted, planned, prepped, you name it I took on the challenge. This not only gave me something to look forward to, it allowed me to step back to reconnect with myself. It seemed the more I brought the house back to life, a little part of me also came back. I was preparing the space for JUST Maud, for ME. My space is now ready for content creation and so am I. (Thank god!!!)
Now that I've entirely completed my renovations, I have a full office, a finished basement, two dream photo studios, a costume sewing room and a totally reorganized way of living, I've cut off everything that no longer serves me and I'm now feeling more Maud than I have in years.
That's what made me realize how important this life is, what we do in it, how we do it and when.
Ever so grateful for this community, my fans, my SG sisters, everyone who has ever crossed paths with me, thank you.
Thank you for your support, your kind words, the love, everything. A special thank you to the super amazing, wonderful, spectacular photographers and other creatives I have worked/met during my SG journey- I cannot imagine life without SuicideGirls.
This took me a lot to write out not only because I don't get very personal here, but my silence needed to be broken. I feel so. much. better. The next upcoming months will include new sets and video footage, sneak peaks of my 2021 calendar, finally a new strip tease video and so much more. I'm serious about so much more, I have something huge in store for SG and I cannot wait to tell you.
With all my love and excitement for the good things to come,
Maud
PS
70,000 followers on SG?! Should we celebrate?
