I'm so confused, and I feel so used. I wanted nothing but to be wanted. Wanted by you. You hurt me and you broke me and I walked backward and picked up all the pieces left behind that you tore apart. You came back to me today and said you need me and you know that I need you. I'm tormented by these words and the way that you looked in my eyes as you held my hands in yours. You found where I live now. Who told you. Do you follow me. I want to know. But I don't. I don't care. My mind was racing on so many levels as you caressed my cheek and looked deeply into my almond shaped eyes and my pouted pink lips.
Why do you torture me. Do you not understand that I can do better without you? I don't need you. But I miss you oh so much. I miss having someone to want me and to call me late at night to tell me that you're outside and you want to just hold me in your arms and you want nothing but to touch my brown skin and feel the cold of my fingertips against yours.
I shouldn't even be thinking about calling you. I shouldn't. So why am I.
Yesterday I realized. I don't need anyone. I'm fucking happy as fuck with myself than anyone else could ever make me. No one makes me smile anymore as I'd like to smile. You can make me laugh and you can make me smile in response, but not a real smile. I had the feeling less than a week ago, I couldn't help smiling. But that faded faster than I thought it would - I make such stupid mistakes.
I'm content with myself. I can go to the store by myself and not look anyone in the eye and I can go fill my gas tank and look like a complete fool. I don't talk to anyone. I don't say thank you anymore. I just don't even smile. I just tell them what I want, give them what they make their profit off of, and leave.
I drive with no direction. I'm on my way to somewhere that I planned to be but sometimes I just feel like driving for no reason. When I get my Jetta back I'm going to just drive...and find spots that I can spend my time alone. Maybe Thursday I'll go to Wall Lake and draw.
I don't need anyone. I'm prone to be single until Georgia (only a couple people know what I'm talking about).
Why do you torture me. Do you not understand that I can do better without you? I don't need you. But I miss you oh so much. I miss having someone to want me and to call me late at night to tell me that you're outside and you want to just hold me in your arms and you want nothing but to touch my brown skin and feel the cold of my fingertips against yours.
I shouldn't even be thinking about calling you. I shouldn't. So why am I.
Yesterday I realized. I don't need anyone. I'm fucking happy as fuck with myself than anyone else could ever make me. No one makes me smile anymore as I'd like to smile. You can make me laugh and you can make me smile in response, but not a real smile. I had the feeling less than a week ago, I couldn't help smiling. But that faded faster than I thought it would - I make such stupid mistakes.
I'm content with myself. I can go to the store by myself and not look anyone in the eye and I can go fill my gas tank and look like a complete fool. I don't talk to anyone. I don't say thank you anymore. I just don't even smile. I just tell them what I want, give them what they make their profit off of, and leave.
I drive with no direction. I'm on my way to somewhere that I planned to be but sometimes I just feel like driving for no reason. When I get my Jetta back I'm going to just drive...and find spots that I can spend my time alone. Maybe Thursday I'll go to Wall Lake and draw.
I don't need anyone. I'm prone to be single until Georgia (only a couple people know what I'm talking about).
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By the way - you're hot.