marty_512

I talked to kristen today. She knew i was mad at her. I told her she shouldn't have kept kissing him. She knew what she was doing. I am sure that she knew she was kissing him. I just want to forget about it. That constantly on my mind isn't good for me. But all night i couldn't stop think about her, I hope shit can work out soon. When i got off the phone with her she knew something was wrong, and i was apparently still mad at her. I just can't help but being jellous. Before she started dating Matt she said I have so much love inside and she loves me so much and told me that she was going to marry me. I thought to myself that i have finally found my true love. I don't want anymore. She is my everything. I think she is so beautiful but she is fucking her life up, with the whole alcohol thing. She doesn't understand. I see it all happening but she is gonna do what she wants to do. I just care about her. Care about her well being and health. I just want to give her my all and her to do the same. I understand that she is going though a tough break up with Matt but I will be here showing my support and love. I can't wait until hopefuly someday soon she realizes that Matt is bringing her self esteem down and that she needs to get rid of him. I can't stand them while they are together. But i like them both when they are appart.
Well tonight I went to Kyles party, but i didn't drink because i took like 3 of my viokadin before i went. I was pretty chill. His parents are away in Georgia this weekend for his sisters graduation so i think he is having more people over tomorrow night. or rather tonight. haha I will probally drink then. I can see myself now, hobbling arround on my crutches all drunk as hell. haha Well gonna head off to bed. Hopefully having some fucked up dreams like last night. mwaaahhh.