Had a pretty good weekend. Friday was rough, but Saturday morning was dyn-o-mite. Still, it hasn't taken the sting out of things in our relationship. L and I continue to see-saw, but I'm going to ride this out a while longer, see where it's going, see what I can do and see what limits she's willing to live with. If it comes down to her...
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VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
missfire:
What?? No update?? That's crap. Especially from someone who uses "At least I update..." as a comeback. Let us know how Comic-con was, 'specially since I'm not waiting in line to get in.
evilwillow:
fornicate yourself, yourself. 
Last message was a downer. Me dealing with emotion and facing it head on. Rough stuff.
There is light, however. L and I actually touched this morning. Well, maybe 'touch' is wwaayy too light a word for it.
Healing is definitely occuring. Open dialog, open feelings, and showing one another love and commitment goes a long way.
Hope you all have a killer weekend. Today,...
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There is light, however. L and I actually touched this morning. Well, maybe 'touch' is wwaayy too light a word for it.
Healing is definitely occuring. Open dialog, open feelings, and showing one another love and commitment goes a long way.
Hope you all have a killer weekend. Today,...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
runelateralus:
May things look brighter for you soon.
n8tvegrl:
I'm in a 6 1/2 year relationship and understand your problem leaving/staying with your wife. There are so many variables and there is no right answer... we must just follow our hearts, be true to ourselves and our values, and work as hard as we can at getting through...
edited because it's Monday
[Edited on Jul 19, 2004 9:48AM]
edited because it's Monday
[Edited on Jul 19, 2004 9:48AM]
Well, we just talked on the phone. She's out tonight with a new boy and I'm having a hard time of it. She's probably going to sleep with him. Not jumpng to conclusions, just asked an honest Q and got an honest A.
This would all be so much easier if I could touch her...
Just finished really crying hard and deep. Just finished reading...
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This would all be so much easier if I could touch her...
Just finished really crying hard and deep. Just finished reading...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
alyssum:
No sweat, I didn't take it as flaming, I just took it as you being hurt and upset. Certainly understandable.
niobe:
Wow, already out with a new guy. Wow. 
Sorry.
Yeah, Kidgumby is my man. I love him lots. It might be hard to believe, but I do love him like 80008884842384 times more than I love a certain other dude.
Have a great weekend.
I feel more complete now that we have all the game systems.
Sorry.
Yeah, Kidgumby is my man. I love him lots. It might be hard to believe, but I do love him like 80008884842384 times more than I love a certain other dude.
Have a great weekend.
I feel more complete now that we have all the game systems.
Outside smoking a cigarette and midnight and everything seems so clear to my eyes and ears.
The crackle of power transformers overhead joined by the crunch of gravel as a woman walks her dog across the street. The sound of a squirrel rustling through the tree in my neighbors yard. SOmewhere I can hear a TV.
The stars dim and flare in some cosmic dance...
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The crackle of power transformers overhead joined by the crunch of gravel as a woman walks her dog across the street. The sound of a squirrel rustling through the tree in my neighbors yard. SOmewhere I can hear a TV.
The stars dim and flare in some cosmic dance...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
missfire:
What are you, the sphinx?? Ummmm.... Lemme guess...a postman! No, a garbage man! What do I get now? A trip to heaven? An autographed copy of Snow Crash? We are sooo going out for coffee when I get home.
mrflickwood:
Ummm...not to be mean, but how can be outside smoking a cigarette and listening to the sounds outside and typing on your computer at the same time? Is this a little bit of what they call poetic license, or did you move to the driveway? Just got a big extension cord and a power strip and took all your possesions outside? If you didn't, man you got NO BALLS to live outside the house. Under a tarp or something. Dude, it could be like one of those fundraisers where somebody lives on a telephome pole to get money for whales with cancer. Only you could get money for your own place. HAHAHA what a gas, but I'm just kidding.
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no balls
Well. All I can say is that it's over. We tried for a long time. mayeb too long. But it's done, the curtain is going down and the lights are starting to dim.
I've finally found the strength, the courage, and enough love of self to cut it off. I'll love her forever, but it will have to be as friends from now on.
Wish...
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I've finally found the strength, the courage, and enough love of self to cut it off. I'll love her forever, but it will have to be as friends from now on.
Wish...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
bbkaro:
Hey -- as one who has been there, I can sincerely say that while some things will never feel quite right... things do turn out for the best. I know that sounds somewhat cliche, but it's true. Best of luck.
parisambrosia:
Good luck with everything....I must say that in just the past month you seem a little stronger.....
Good luck with everything....I must say that in just the past month you seem a little stronger..... I'm running blind. Not sure where I'm going, don't know where I'll end. I just hope it's not a dead end.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
peggy:
Lesson One: Most people suck. It's sad but true.
People are too worried about themselves to stop for one minute to think about someone else. Seriously.
People are too worried about themselves to stop for one minute to think about someone else. Seriously.
peggy:
Good for you!! And if it doesn't balance out, that's fine too. Because you are a caring person regardless and you deserve what you can get.
Well, things continue to see-saw with L. We're still working issues, but things are on a slow slow slow upswing.
In the mean while, someone new has entered the picture. Little Ms K has completely caught me off guard by being one the most honest and amazing people I've ever met. I'm completely crushing onthis girl and loving every moment with her.
So, life is...
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In the mean while, someone new has entered the picture. Little Ms K has completely caught me off guard by being one the most honest and amazing people I've ever met. I'm completely crushing onthis girl and loving every moment with her.
So, life is...
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VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
niobe:
Very cool. I hope you have a great time with your friends. I am glad you are getting out and having some fun.
niobe:
Thanks. 
YOU ROCK!!!!! Po tat oes!!!
YOU ROCK!!!!! Po tat oes!!!
Happiness, it seems, is fleeting. I'm no where near where I was before, but I've slipped back into a mild depression. Issues with my wife have improved, communication is improved, but emotions are difficult to deal with. Pain still lingers in my heart and has decided to grip a little tighter.
I lie awake nights and wish things were better. I wish that I could...
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I lie awake nights and wish things were better. I wish that I could...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
niobe:
Hehehe. That was cute.
evilwillow:
1) What do I want to know: When are you coming to San Diego to enlighten my soul with your presence?
-as soon as my ruby slippers get back from the shop.
2) Do I remember: No , dammit, I don't! How could I have missed something so incredible!?
-you obviously don't pay close enough attention.
3) What you need to know: I'm a cool mutha fucka trapped in a hopeless geeks body, that I can change the color of a traffic light simply vy staring at it long enough, and that girls with orange / multicolored hait are ranked high on my "oooh, sexy" list.
-word.
-as soon as my ruby slippers get back from the shop.
2) Do I remember: No , dammit, I don't! How could I have missed something so incredible!?
-you obviously don't pay close enough attention.
3) What you need to know: I'm a cool mutha fucka trapped in a hopeless geeks body, that I can change the color of a traffic light simply vy staring at it long enough, and that girls with orange / multicolored hait are ranked high on my "oooh, sexy" list.
-word.
Well, things are on the mend. This has been the first time in a long time I can remember being happy for longer than 15-30 minutes.
My lovely wife, L, and I have done alot of talking and soul searching (as well as soul baring) and become much closer. Our relationships with each other is slowly improving and it feels good. I'm honestly beginning to...
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My lovely wife, L, and I have done alot of talking and soul searching (as well as soul baring) and become much closer. Our relationships with each other is slowly improving and it feels good. I'm honestly beginning to...
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VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
peggy:
Cedar Point was crowded though.....I say hit the beach instead!!!!
peggy:
I have never had a sunburn. Always tan. Which sucks this summer because I'm actually trying to stay pale.
Well, back again. I've just been lurking a bit and posting a little here and there for the past week. I'm living with a friend and his fiancee while my wife, L, and I try to work things out. Things are going ok I suppose. I met a couple of new people and they're plenty cool. Folks just to hang out with, smoke a few...
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VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
peggy:
HAHAHA. I am a 1:05er.....who told you what it didn't mean?
peggy:
You are too cute and funny.