mantis

Sup.
I didn't do anything for St. Patrick's Day. Didn't feel like getting drunk and dealing with a bunch of idiots. Didn't drink or go out for New Years either, now that I think about it. I guess I'm just over 'drinking' holidays. It's mostly because I'm a cop magnet so I'm paranoid about drinking and driving. Won't drive if I've even had a single beverage. Nuh uh, not worth it, never ever. So to go out I have to get a ride or a cab and it's just a hassle. And I'm not very into bars anyway, so I'm usually ready to go before the people I ride with. So I stay in. I adore holidays, though, especially Fourth of July and Halloween. Love them.
The point?
The point.
April Fool's Day is next and I need some ideas for awful pranks I can pull on people. Any ideas? The nastier the better.

Help me make enemies.