The smell of super clean sheets isn’t as glorious as the women in Downy commercials make it seem. Of course it’s silly to think that the hotel is washing the sheets in anything but some industrial grade bleach and detergent. I imagine six sassy Puerto Rican and Dominican women talking shit to one another while putting the sheets in a giant, stainless steel vat.
“Do you know what that punta Gisele had the balls to say to me yesterday?” One of the ladies would say. “That if I focused, fucking 'focused', I’d probably be able to finish my nursing degree.”
Her girl would naturally chime in.
“Focus? Does she even know what you do? The bullshit you deal with, with Alonzo and his dumbass, Alessandra and her honors programs and your mom? Your fucking mom Meda!? Gisele don’t know how well you “focus”.
I don’t know why I’m imagining them with oars too. I mean it’s not the old country, but it makes this all more official.
The things you think about when you’re held up in a New York hotel room on a hot Saturday afternoon.
Did you know I never even knew women grew hair around their nipples until HD pictures came out? Crazy right? I dated a girl named Callie back in 2011 that was super hairy, but she had super chilled blonde hair so you could barely see it. I never visually checked, but I am positive she had hairy nipples. I mean she never shaved her lip hair and had a bush that rivaled Marilyn Chambers, so I’m sure a little nipple hair was not out of the realm of possibilities.
About the lip hair, you only really saw it if she was sweating or if she had just taken a large gulp of a delicious beverage. It also depended on the light. It sometimes glistened if she raised her chin at a certain angle. But it wasn’t like I was smooching with like Matthew McConaughey from “Dazed and Confused”. Her facial follicles were elegant, like silk curtains in a glorious ballroom.
On that note, I really need to get out and hit the town. More blogs to come. I promise, for real this time…maybe.