i posted this in a group i belong to. so chances are most of you know about a lot of what i said. but i'm still wondering what you all might have to say.
the post:
the post:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
here's our/my story.
in March of this year i'd finally gotten free of an 3 year long abusive relationship situation, during which i moved from California to North Carolina a year ago.
after i got out of that hell, i stayed in hotels and at friends houses for awhile.
at the job i'd had for around 6/7 months i had a female friend who let me stay with her one weekend. we had a party, and a lot of people from work were invited. so there was this one guy Jake, who showed up(i later found out he only came cause he heard i was there
), who'd always shown interest in talking to me, but i couldn't show interest back because i was with the abusive guy.
well now that i was finally single, and a little buzzed from some beers, i got to talking to him more.
i was planing on leaving NC to go back out west, and i told him such, he said he'd like it if i stayed, but understood if i didn't. later i disclosed having a crush on him, and we exchanged numbers. the next day he came back to my friends house to see me, and after thinking it over for awhile, i decided to stay in NC to see where things would go with him. so it was set, i was staying, and mostly for him. after that for a couple weeks off and on i'd stay at his dorm.(he's 20, and in college still, i'm 22). we started a relationship. eventually i got my own place, and things have been wonderful. i don't think i've ever been in such a healthy loving relationship.
unfortunately i learned early on he was transfering colleges to one thats 2.5 hrs away from here. which actually just happened this last weekend. we miss each other a lot, and through out the past few months we talked about me moving up there next fall(2007). thinking that if the relationship lasted, and we still wanted to live in the same place then, it could be a great thing.
well i've lived with a lot of people before, and usually the closer i am with the person, as time goes on, it doesn't help the relationship that we live together and see each other so often. i also like to have my own space, and so does he. so we were thinking we might get a 2 bedroom place, and that we'd set everything up as if we were just roommates, but it's benificial to the relationship because i'd be with him. then after he's done with school, if the relationship is still going on we'd move somewhere together(neither of us wants to be in NC for the rest of our lives).
the part that worries me is NOT the moving(i'm a nomadic, free spirit, go with your heart type of gal), but what will happen once i'm there. i don't want him to regret having me up there, and i want the relationship to last. but its been a little less than 6 months since we started the relationship, and i just don't want to jump into anything too fast. am i being worried because of my previous experiences? i mean by the time i would start looking for a new job and we'd look for a place, it would probably be next summer.
so i was wondering, do any of you have any advice or suggestions? any similar experiences? any warnings? am i thinking logically, AND following my heart? or just one or the other?
(*edited to add:
me saying i'm free spirited, doesn't mean i'm not the kind of person that can stay in a long term relationship, i'd much rather stick with my partner, and hopefully move/travel/be adventurous with them, if anything i chose love first. so i didn't want to get the impression that i'm flighty if it came off that way, thats not something i'm worried about.)
here's our/my story.
in March of this year i'd finally gotten free of an 3 year long abusive relationship situation, during which i moved from California to North Carolina a year ago.
after i got out of that hell, i stayed in hotels and at friends houses for awhile.
at the job i'd had for around 6/7 months i had a female friend who let me stay with her one weekend. we had a party, and a lot of people from work were invited. so there was this one guy Jake, who showed up(i later found out he only came cause he heard i was there
), who'd always shown interest in talking to me, but i couldn't show interest back because i was with the abusive guy.
well now that i was finally single, and a little buzzed from some beers, i got to talking to him more.
i was planing on leaving NC to go back out west, and i told him such, he said he'd like it if i stayed, but understood if i didn't. later i disclosed having a crush on him, and we exchanged numbers. the next day he came back to my friends house to see me, and after thinking it over for awhile, i decided to stay in NC to see where things would go with him. so it was set, i was staying, and mostly for him. after that for a couple weeks off and on i'd stay at his dorm.(he's 20, and in college still, i'm 22). we started a relationship. eventually i got my own place, and things have been wonderful. i don't think i've ever been in such a healthy loving relationship.
unfortunately i learned early on he was transfering colleges to one thats 2.5 hrs away from here. which actually just happened this last weekend. we miss each other a lot, and through out the past few months we talked about me moving up there next fall(2007). thinking that if the relationship lasted, and we still wanted to live in the same place then, it could be a great thing.
well i've lived with a lot of people before, and usually the closer i am with the person, as time goes on, it doesn't help the relationship that we live together and see each other so often. i also like to have my own space, and so does he. so we were thinking we might get a 2 bedroom place, and that we'd set everything up as if we were just roommates, but it's benificial to the relationship because i'd be with him. then after he's done with school, if the relationship is still going on we'd move somewhere together(neither of us wants to be in NC for the rest of our lives).
the part that worries me is NOT the moving(i'm a nomadic, free spirit, go with your heart type of gal), but what will happen once i'm there. i don't want him to regret having me up there, and i want the relationship to last. but its been a little less than 6 months since we started the relationship, and i just don't want to jump into anything too fast. am i being worried because of my previous experiences? i mean by the time i would start looking for a new job and we'd look for a place, it would probably be next summer.
so i was wondering, do any of you have any advice or suggestions? any similar experiences? any warnings? am i thinking logically, AND following my heart? or just one or the other?
(*edited to add:
me saying i'm free spirited, doesn't mean i'm not the kind of person that can stay in a long term relationship, i'd much rather stick with my partner, and hopefully move/travel/be adventurous with them, if anything i chose love first. so i didn't want to get the impression that i'm flighty if it came off that way, thats not something i'm worried about.)
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am i being worried because of my previous experiences?
I would hope so. That's the one thing that the past can offer us, It's always there for us to learn from.