makebelieve

A good day today! I've been feeling better lately, but today was especially fun. I don't know, I just felt good. More outgoing, I joked around with everybody at work, people I'd never even spoken to. Found out that this guy in the meat dept has been telling everyone over there that I'm chasing after him, and that I need a real man, and he's the one. Haha whatever. He follows me around everywhere while I'm working. Maybe I flirt too much without realizing it. I never thought of myself as a flirt though. Cocktease, whatever. Why is it, the one I want never wants me, but everyone else does? When I'm looking for friendship, they want more, and then it gets all awkward and ugh! So that's weird. But on a good note, I made it well known that I was NOT chasing after him, it's the other way around. I made sure I told this one guy, who the first day he met me, actually, within the first five minutes of meeting me, had asked my co-worker about me, if he thought I'd go out with him. At the time, as flattering as it was, I was still all into my previous thing, convinced it was going somewhere, so I was kind of blinded to everything else. But once I realized that was not going to happen, things just were so much clearer. So I started to notice back, and anyway, made it known to him especially that I wasn't chasing after that guy. Then, after much laughing and a lil storytelling on his part, he proceeded to ask me if I was single, not like in a pick up line way, just as a ya know, ARE you single? So of course I am! Asks other questions about where I live, live alone, yadda ya. Then as I was going back inside he turns around and says "Hey, let me know if you wanna hang out sometime, I don't have shit to do. Cept work." something like that. So put all of that together, is that maybe an interest in me? Kind of an ask out, but in a non-threatening casual way? I guess I've never been asked out so I wouldn't know either way. I know it's not a date thingy but it's hard for me to tell anymore if someone is really interested or not. You think someone is totally into you and then you find out it's not like that for them anymore. Blah!
Either way, I talked to HIM for awhile today, it was good to talk again, a lot of fun actually. Little weird at times, always have that pang of "why aren't i good enough for you again?" when we're so in sync. But there were a couple things said that made me feel really good like he really does care about me and never meant to hurt me. Seems like someone is just out to cause drama, and fuck with our lives. Sucks for her, she dated him for "four years" (actually 2 but she's nuts). I've known him for almost nine. And I think we know eachother better than anyone else does. Even though sometimes what is going on in his head is a complete and utter mystery to me. But he's great either way!
And last but not least, I met one of my neighbors today! Yeah, I've been living here since just before Christmas, but never met any of the people besides crazy Ellie next door. She's in school here and we chatted, said we should get together and hang out sometime, which just completed my day! Wouldn't it be nice to have some friends? Even if guy at work isn't really interested in me, it would be cool to have someone to hang out with. But it would be really great if someone decent gave me the time of day.
And here just for you all, are some pics of my cat, Murphy! He's going on 11 and still acts like a kitten. He's too cute.