15 years ago...and I remember. I remember waking up a little before 9 am that morning and turning on the TV. I remember seeing all the news channels covering a fire at the World Trade Center and that they believed a plane had crashed into the side of the building. Now not fully comprehending the scope and size of building, I thought it was just a single engine plane like a cessna that lost control and crashed into the building. It wasn't until minutes later when I saw the giant jet in the background turn toward the second building and then disappear into a giant ball of flame that I knew the truth. I knew it before the reporters even had an idea of what was going on...we were under attack!
I remember calling my father at work and telling him to get to a TV if he could and to turn on the news. I knew if he saw what I was seeing he would come to the same conclusion. Despite all the confusion that was being put out by the news, my father would know with certainty that this was no accident, no random tragedy. I remember keeping our conversation short because in the back of my head I knew I needed that phone open and available. I was expecting a call that thankfully never came.
I remember getting off the phone and going back to the TV and watching the horror unfold before me. I remember breaking away from the news briefly to check my seabag, making sure all my Navy uniforms and equipment were packed and ready. Long before the news channels starting using the words "terror attack" I was already knew what was going on and the potential of what could still happen. I remember thinking that the radio room at the 911 communications center must be going nuts. I had only been a dispatcher for 3 months at that point. A part of me wanted to go in to help out but another part of me said stay at home, you are going to be possibly be getting a phone call soon. I watched the news as I waited for someone from my reserve unit to call to say we had been activated and to report in immediately. I had everything ready to go. All I needed was the word. That word never came that day.
I remember watching every little detail, listening to every word reported, I remember watching law enforcement, firemen and EMT's rush into danger doing what they do best. I remember worrying about them because some of them were my brothers from my reserve unit. I remember praying to God that they would be OK and that I would see them again at our next drill weekend. I remember watching a city do the unthinkable...become one giant family, taking care of one another. Race did not matter. Religion did not matter. Sexual Orientation did not matter. That day all I saw was human beings...New Yorkers...Americans. We were all one.
I remember hearing about the Pentagon. I remember hearing about a plane going down in a field in Pennsylvania and knowing that the original plans for that plane went down with it. I remember watching in utter disbelief when the first tower fell, knowing full well that once one went down, the other wouldn't be far behind it. I remember in the minutes, hours and days afterward, praying for miracles, praying for survivors.
Despite remembering all the horror, the pain, the tragedy, I will also remember the resilience, the kindness, the love, the bravery, the compassion. I remember all these things and I will always remember them for as long as I live.
