Going to try this video blog thing again... :P

13

Ok, so....

the epic saga of the horrible roommates continues!

I posted this video-

last week.. and then last night I get a whole new reason to be pissed off.

Yesterday was a very bad day. Details if you want them..

I woke up waaaaaaaaay earlier than I wanted to so I could go make sales calls for Kyle (an ex from like 6 years ago or something like that, and also a semi-recent former roommate. yes, one of those terrible creatures I keep letting into my home for financial reasons), but he was so busy working and making phone calls that it took him too long to respond to tell me to come over and make calls until I basically had to leave for St Louis in order to make it on time (or so I thought) due to weather. Mist turning immediately into ice shortly became the bane of my existence. So I packed, I left, I drove for a while a whole lot slower than I wanted to but I did it anyway for safety... and within thirty minutes I found myself beginning the cycle of exiting the highway to scrape my windshield every 15 minutes. EVERY 15 MINUTES!!! From my home in Kansas City to my home in St Louis is a 4 hour drive, almost right on the nose. You need to know this because you need that to add perspective to what follows:

I DROVE FOR 3 HOURS AND DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO COLUMBIA! I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT TO BOONEVILLE!!!!! Columbia is approximately half way, and Booneville is about 30 miles closer to KC from Columbia.

I realized at this point that I was not making much progress, going very slowly, and people were not handling the slick conditions well. My godmother called me to make sure I was alright, so I put it on speaker and we discussed the idea of me turning around. Around the time I thought I was convinced to turn around I rolled up on what appeared to be a closed highway. This would be because five cars decided to get into an accident together. They couldn't stand the idea of not playing bumper cars. You fucking morons. WTF were you doing going any faster than 45 mph??? Was I in an accident? No. I slowed the fuck down!

So, thirty minutes later I finally am able to squeeze by the doodoo brain idiots on the highway with cars all mangled up and stuff, make it like 3 miles (still no exit to get off and turn around, I'm pretty certain that's my plan at this point) and I see the most ridiculous thing ever. Please, for the love of pete... How is it even possible? This pickup truck was wrecked, obviously, in the center median thing all wrapped up in the cable they had run down the center. Not only this, but some how, some way, some idiot managed to rip the entire cab off of the frame and away from the bed and roll it. Literally, there was a truck cab on it's side essentially sitting next to the frame and bed. I don't even know how you manage to do something that stupid and destructive. That kind of disaster must have required a special effort at stupidity.

So I turn around, I head back, it's been about 3.5 hours since I left home, I'm not happy and I'm missing out on work.

The whole way home I'm pissed off because the last night of my contract working with Hustler was Friday. That means I really needed to be there face-to-face to try and negotiate a new contract and network with other girls to see where they were going to dance if they weren't re-contracted. Oh, and making money is a good thing too.

So I make it home, finally, it took somewhere around 6 or 6.5 hours for me to leave and end up right back where I started with nothing to show for it. I play Diablo III for a few hours, beat the game, and go grab wine and cheese at the store.


I had just gotten home from the store buying cheese and wine to cheer myself up from the horrible day I had when the dreaded roommate shows up. Keep in mind, we're talking it's like 2am, I went to the store right before liquor sales stopped at 1::30, and I drove slooooowly home. So this guy has had many many hours to throw back the booze after work. Because that's what he does. He works, and the moment he's clocked out he's headed to a bar. Let's say he got off work at 6? That's probably about right? So he's been drinking from 6pm to 2am, which is 8 hours. AND HE DROVE HOME! He was so intoxicated he was fucking purple looking. He not only drove home in that condition, he drove home in that condition in weather that was so bad I (the resident road warrior who makes it almost no matter what no matter how slow I have to go) could not make it more than 90 miles on the high before it got bad! He's thumping in the door with the cartoon-like sad face going on, basically because he gets emo when he drinks and the more he drinks the more emo he is... and he drank a lot!

....aaaaaaaaand he decides he wants to hug me.

SHOCKER! I don't want to hug you, you despicable piece of shit! You put lives in danger because you're a selfish shithead and you can't control your drinking! You deserve to be that fatality accident on the side of the highway in the snow. I know too many people that have died because of drunk drivers. You are the scum of the earth, you dirtbag!

So I put my hands out, "nooooo no no, not in the mood. I don't want to hug you dude." I handled it pretty well, considering how I was really feeling.

So he proceeds to gush out that he misses me, he doesn't know what's happened to us, he's scared to sit on the couch (because I got tired of constantly remaking it with the blankets and pillows the way I like it. I told him I was literally going to beat him with the broom if he fucked it up again... all I want is for him to be conscious of the path of destruction and correct it. That's really not that hard....) and we don't talk and he's sad about it. He wants to hug me. He wants to think his roommates gives a shit.

... Seriously? My wonderful Detroit friend, Ken, put it best. "Unsolicited sensitivity is a rancid perfume." Basically, any time this guy is drunk whether something is or was wrong before, it must be wrong now and he wants to be all gooey and touchy feelie lets-fix-it and hug-it-out-while-I-steal-your-booze... Perfect way to describe it.

Neighbor Lopez helped me carry in groceries when I got home, some he heard all of this and tried to bail, planning to come right back over to hang out with me, watch a movie, eat cheese and drink wine.... and he's hoping, of course, that the idiot standing in my living room will be banished by my ire up to his room so we can carry out our night in peace. Good plan, except he had a beer in his hand. Which was a signal to the buffoon that there were likely more beers next door.

And I quote, "Oh, you're going next door? Can I come with you? Can I have a beer? Let's smoke a cigarette...." Which he is saying to a guy who just quit drinking hard liquor about a month ago, is drinking only beer, and who has recently quit smoking cigarettes as well and is using an electronic cigarette. He reeks of whiskey and stale cigarettes and he's just throwing it in poor Lopez's face. Augh. Lopez is waaaaaaaaay too nice. I wouldn't have let him come over...

So he goes over there. And I start getting text messages. I'm accused of not being hugged as a child. I'm cold and heartless. I don't care. I hate him. He'll never ask for me to care about anything or him ever again. He knows better now.

Dude should have been an actor in a teen soap opera. I figure you can't act like a total skeeze without being one, so it would be a perfect fit for him. Giving BJs in a truck stop would be too classy for him.

I guess Neighbor Jake and Lopez each thought the other was friends with this dude, and not long ago ended up fighting about who was in charge of kicking him out of their house, because all he does is show up and steal beer out of their fridge. To the point he doesn't even knock. .... Hahahaha... what a jerk. Jeeeeeeeez.. Lopez was telling me last night how he's had to kick him out a bunch of times and how he tries to sleep on their couch.. (We have a duplex! Duuuuuuuuuude he has a room and a bed over here! Ya know why he wants to sleep over there? The beer in the fridge. If everyone else passes out and he pretends to, he can rock his way through the entire stock in no time flat. ). I feel so bad for letting this asshole move in with me..


So Lopez makes it back over, he informs me that my jerk roommate invited some chick over to his place. They're hanging out on the couch. Neighbor Jake was home, so Lopez pulled a quick one and dipped out to escape the idiocy to come. We went up to my room to watch Catching Fire so I wouldn't have to deal with him stumbling in drunk and stupid whenever Jake got tired of him. It worked out just fine. Except for the guffawing of the drunk hyena next door. We could hear him over the movie! It was a looooooud movie! I had it turned waaaaaaay up! Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez.. He finally stumbled in at about 5:30.

Please, forces that be, help me find my new dream job that will pay me enough to get rid of this clown!

And, everyone likes a ridiculous bad-weather photo so....

/end rant!

VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
midnightrider454:
That dude's a dick, he deserves whatever he gets
madilynn:
Riiiiiight?!

More Blogs