madeincanada

A few months into my relationship with my husband (before he was my husband), I came across an online journal entry written by a friend of mine before she killed herself about 5 years earlier. I had never had the internet so had never read it. It was basically her suicide note and it was the first I had even heard of it. I was reading it, bawling my eyes out totally remembering her and her sudden death when my ex phoned.
I answered, clearly upset and told him what I had found. His exact words were "Im not going to come home to you crying am I?".....
For some reason it didn't piss me off as much as it should have at the time, but after that, anytime I felt sad, my body just WOULDNT cry. Even if I thought it was okay to, it physically wouldnt.
I cried when I put my rats down, but not in front of him.
The most annoying part is that he was a fucking pussy and cried every time we even fought.... but it wasnt cool for me to cry over my friends suicide. What an asshole hey? HAHA