m_bethany

JOURNAL:

So I went to the show. I was so disappointed that I could not take pics during, but I understand. I only wish I had had a better digital - I borrowed one from the ex (he decided not to charge me even though I insisted... twice) and I do not like it for me... I need one with awesome night mode... then I could have gotten some good ones. Oh well.

I got to meet Katie and Nixon after the show... actually I was getting a drink for ChrisChick and saw her standing with the merchandise... and I did not realize that the pictures are so accurate (*if only I had spell check...*) and so much like the real thing. I was looking at my favorite shots and I spied Katie's leg tats, the ones that go down her legs in the back like the seam of a stocking but with cute little bowties w/ skulls on the top. So smart, so original. SO HOT. She is my favorite, my queen. Only wish I was able.... I do not think so though. I do not think she likes girls like me. Oh well, I can imagine...

Oh yes I can. Gawd, I would just worship her. All I want to do is worship... for maybe a day or two, canopy bed and the Inn @ Playa Del Rey in the Romance Suite (only one with canopy bed in it), I would take pictures and, if she let me, massage and chill. All the rest would be up to her. Aw, Yeah. I will definately appreciate the pics I got of her out back behind the Knitting Factory.. and I am getting to that.

So I met up with ChrisChick, superjoint, and two of their friends whose name escapes me. They got the two tickets from me that Prince Charmingand his buddy were supposed to use but they had to fly away to Europe, big movie weekend and promotions... ah, being a guy in the business. Poor guy! J/K, it is all cush cush but I wish I was there to be supportive during the breaks in interviews... I know it sucks to answer the same questions all the time.. I wonder if they will ask him about his love life since he is technically a bachelor still... (again, wish I could spell). Oh well, that is his call if he wants to include me in his public life.. either way, where I am going (1 wk til 909), I will not be found unless with him. And I love being around him.

I was at his house earlier this week and it was tuesday morning. He had run out to do some errands (at 7 am... I do not know how he gets up early) so I sat at the tv in a towel, fresh from showering, and smoked a bowl. He smelled it when he got back, I was a little embarrassed because I feel like my pot habit is more of addiction... and I think he worries a little bit. Nothing said, but I could read his reaction in body language and then it took about 45 seconds for him to inquire, "You smoke in the morning?", and what do I say? "I do it if I am up early enough, it is like my morning coffee". I am a liar, but I did not realize it until driving to work - I do it pretty much during the week when I work. I apparently cannot deal with my boss. I am so glad I only have one more official week... but I am staying for next week as requested.. they should have my replacement then.

It is amazing how many peopel WITH DEGREES are applying for my job. Funny, I am leaving to get my degree to do something that makes more money. Huh. I am not sure about that one... you make your own conclusion, I have not found mine yet. I just think it is a little ironic - "don't you think? It's like rain.."

A little Alanis Morissette for the gloom over my precious Venice this morning.. I have the house guest here... Corvette and his buddy Danny are here from the UK and we all went drinking last night. I had 3, maybe 4, shots of Malibu Rum with 3 Irish Car Bombs... but all in the first hour.... no, I lie, I carried it through from 10 pm to 2 am, and we all spent about $30 on music in the jukebox/digital downloader since we all wanted to hear punk music while there and some old school. I threw in a block of Bad Religion first (Infested [for the trendy people], All Good Soldier [for my sis in S. Korea], and American Jesus. The thing never played American Jesus, and I put the requet in again and the bar closed before it played. Literally, one song before. The second block was Pixies "Where is My Mind?", then AC/DC's "Back In Black", and then no more music (right before American Jesus, damn nation!). They sucked but I loved the spot. Corvette and Danny met some other Brits and chatted, we all had fun. I like Danny, he is really sweet. Corvette passed out early (well, almost 3am) and Danny and I stayed up. I actually am about to get ready for bed.

Sort of. I met my devil last night for the first time in a long time... actually when Corvette went to bed I did, and Danny went with me. I am going to be miserable for a little while, but I am keeping busy and tiring myself out. The only thing I hate is the fact that right now there is already traffic on Venice & Lincoln, and it is only going to get worse. No solid sleep for me today... unless I go elsewhere. Damn it. Perhaps I will. I do not know right now. I have to see.

Usually this is the point where I get royally fucked and cum on all over by the last boy toy, the ex. But he and I are done. Sad for the immediate benefit, but overall a waste of my time even if he is good; I found out there is a good possibility he did not fess up to not sleeping with anyone else but me (we were not using protection for him, but me - I am all over it monogamy-wise). We were together since January of last year and I have only been with ]Prince Charming who has only been with me and I also could take some nice revenge if THAT is a problem of sorts - but I have been informed I have been the only one for awhile for him. NICE. And the ex and I had an understanding with the "after break up sex"; no one else has been slept with, as it was, but if someone else, I am out and done or a condom is definately in the picture.. no, I would just be done. That makes me sick of thinking of the person he would be with and it would be a waste anyway. I have not confirmation, but considering when I picked up some stuff from his house early this morning on the way home from the bar and how the new roomie/personal assistant he has that is so on his jock she does not even acknowledge me unless told to (very subordinate, perfect for him - I am serious); she was sitting in a robe on the couch all cuddled up with him. I guess he found a replacement. Again, just making a conjuncture (is that the word I want?) or hypothesis if you will, but I maintain "Easy for guys, they just bypass the pain and pick up a rebound and 'do it, just do it'**".

Whatevs. I know I am rocking and awesome... and I know that I deserve better for me, someone to fill in that 2% of compatability the ex and I lacked. I think I know who...

The one I am thinking of is back on Monday afternoon. I wonder if he will call when he gets in; part of me hopes so. I feel like Prince Charming is really opening up to me (so not our normal since it started about a month ago)... maybe because we talk more about him and his personal life, like family (Mom) and friends (the buddy I met and the other @$$ from years ago). We used to just talk about me and his work, his thoughts on my stuff and then corrilating (can't spell, sorry!) into other long good intellectual conversations where we are honest. I have never been this honest with anyone, least of all someone I am getting more, dare I say it? intimate with. Yes, that is really scary because there are no surprises and I really love just being with him - whether it is having sex, playing with him, watching tv and making out, having dinner and drinking excellent wine (good taste on both our parts thank you.. after 4 years I have paid attention!). I want to do more. We have discussed getting away for the weekend.. and it never happens. And with all the press for the new movie, he is going to be doing out of town business for a little while, perhaps a month? I do not know how long other countries have to wait for movies but we seem to get them reasonably soon. So soon after the ex, but it has been 6 months since we split just lots of renegotiations of contract. His should just be cancelled at this point, he is, like SurfBetty said the other day on my post, "dumb, dumb boy". I think he is partying again too, and I cannot be around that.. too much trouble as can be seen at the moment. Oh wait, I have not gotten the camera phone repaired/replaced yet. Damn! No horrible pic for you! Ask the boys later....

Anyway, today I take the boys to OC. I have to get new brakes on the car BTW, nice when I have NO CASH! Part of me wants to ask the boys for another $50 but I could not do that. The deal is made, and they rock. If they did not rock.. might have asked. But that is because I would not care what was said. I would blast them here... but I cannot! Corvette and his buddy are cool as fuck, and Danny is thinking of moving here. He is smart though, he knows he needs a nice cushion just to get going here... if only more people knew that... like me.

Gawd, today I wish I was a trust fund baby. Now I go fill out the new JC application, Mt. SAC next to Cal Poly Pomona. Not as good in reputation as SMCC (Santa Monica Community College, best in country, 95% transfer rate I think), but it is really damn good and the campus works with Cal Pomona since they are next door to each other. I am going to go back into the Theater as soon as I can, I need to relearn the sound boards.

That is it. I am going to smoke a bowl, it has been a little while (thursday) except when I smoked a bowl yesterday with the boys watching the sunset right outside my lounge (it is not really a living or room). I love my place, I wish I could stay. I should have sublet it and made the deal to just be able to crash her when I need to. :hits palm on head: too much pot, not enough reading... I remedy that in the 909.

As the boys say, "Cheers". Mahalo from me.

Awake REALLY REALLY LATE in Venice,
~ the angel*

oh I forgot, I ended up meeting up with some of the trio band (second one?) that sounded like Ben Folds Five and getting into the band room backstage and then took off to ON THE ROX with the last band, the ones that sounded like good STP from circa 1993-1994 (like "Big Empty" times). They only had three gigs under their belts - not bad for that, they rocked it regardless. Apparently because one of the guitar players kicked a girl who was sitting on the stage off since she was facing the audience (being rude, I saw it) through the first song and he kicked her off and then one of the band's girls, Sara (liked her a lot) and Daphne almost fought her. But they did not get paid. So I went to TOI with them and hung out after the ROX was unavailable and got to hang with awesome people. I loved going without a buddy ridesharing. I should do more of those events on my own. I get backstage and meet the coolest people. Oh, and sorry guys! I totally ditched ChrisChick and superjoint and their friends but they were cool... right? I hope so. No offense! Overall, successful evening. Oh, I rearended someone, and they guys were trying to get a date out of me instead of me paying 4 the scraps on the bumper (I felt bad, the paint job was not that fucked, but then I saw the front right fender. Ouch!) They were all "give me your number and we settle out of court, I call you okay?" fine, whatevs. He wants $100 cash, fine, no accident on my insurance. My front end is a little damaged though, pushed up a little so my hood is below the front end that holds the lights, bumper - all that shit. I have a feeling I will need some professionals to fix it. She needs work anyway. Soon baby, soon my lovely NATALIE. Later!