m0use

I don't like to talk about my life anymore because it's either boring.. or full of complaints.

And i made teh interwub tired of my complaints back in '01.

Also, shortly after that*, i lost the ability to communicate and it's grown worse over the following years.


Emails, journals, replies, posts... anything. It all becomes too exhaustive for me to do. I find myself planning out these responses or posts in my head.. if i'm driving or at work or any time my mind wanders... You'd be surprised the things that are composed inside there and forever lost... but if i set down to do it, everything in my mind becomes like tar.. I can no longer think of words and i find myself suddenly disgusted by the prospect.

And that, in short, is why i am the best and biggest lurker the interwub has ever met.

P.S. bet you didn't know i've been ridiculously happy at work (aside from the physical pain, and the soul-sucking customers) for a very long time now, huh? Don't worry, i'm not anymore. I'm a very very disgruntled rodent again.

*note: While i've noticed and have mentioned this "Can't communicate verbally or typing anymore, and when i do it is so exhausting..." problem quite a very long time ago; i've only recently began to forumlate ideas on when and how this all happened. Naturally, i am completely and utterly incapable of expressing these conceptual realisations in words... not even in my own mind.